Describe 2016 with One Word - GO!

One word. This was the challenge.  This morning I asked my Facebook friends to describe 2016 in one word. Many were heartwarming and made me smile; others hurt my heart.  How would I describe 2016 -- complete.

In 2016 I completed my dissertation; I completed the PhD program and graduated. I completed the national mental health counseling examination and achieved several longstanding goals.  Jorjanne finished driver's ed and completed her third high school drama performance. Jeff completed two thru-hikes as well as his first song-writing conference.

The election -- well praise God it is complete!

Several people I know and love completed the race this year; they fought the good fight and won the prize. I am grateful for the honor knowing some amazing people (I started to list them here but there are so many...suffice it to say we lost some "greats" this year.

In a few hours the year itself will come to both an end and a beginning. A new chapter.  I look forward with great anticipation to what 2017 will bring.

So what is your word?

10 Things You Can Do to Counter Depression

1.  Exercise - Believe it or not, when you exercise, your brain releases pleasure-inducing endorphins which reduce perceptions of pain and produce a natural high (similar to a runner's high). When you are depressed the last thing you want to do is exercise, but if you can push through it, it is a natural way to counter those blues.

2.  Eat bananas - Depression can be due to a decrease in serotonin levels. Bananas are a great source of serotonin, and have the potential to lessen the effects of depression.

3.  Get adequate sunlight - Darkness triggers an increase in the production of melatonin in the body causing drowsiness. In contrast, sunlight is believed to increase serotonin levels increasing "happy feelings."

4.  Socialize - When we are depressed we tend to isolate ourselves, and this feeds the depression. As we withdraw from social situations, our self-worth deteriorates and the self-deprecation begins. We were created for relationships, and we need others to help us during times of depression.

5.  Get up and keep a routine - People who are depressed tend to sleep too little or too much. The tendency is to lie in bed all day. Again, this creates a vicious cycle. The more you lie in bed, the less energy you have, and the less motivated you are to get up. Fight through the temptation to lounge around in your PJ's. Get up and do the things you were do if you were not depressed. Keeping a routine helps to break the cycle.

6.  See a doctor - If your depression persists for weeks, you may want to see your primary care physician and make sure there is not a physical reason for your depression. Chronic pain, thyroid issues, hormonal issues, decreased serotonin or norepinephrine can all contribute to depression. You want to rule out any physical etiology for your depression.

7.  Talk to a therapist or pastor - There are times when life is just plain 'ole difficult. During these times we may need a trustworthy person in whom to confide. Consider talking with a minister or a counselor whom you trust.  They can help you to process your thoughts and feelings, give you tools to counter your depression, and offer added support so that you no longer feel alone. Learn more here about taking off your mask and being real.

8.  Replace negative thoughts with positive ones - Depression is usually coupled with negative thinking. In order to stop our stinkin' thinking, we have to identify our irrational thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and counter them with true statements. For example, "My family would be better off without me," could be replaced with "If I was not here, my parents and my siblings would be very sad and would miss me."  Another example is "I cannot do anything right." Replace this thought with "There are things I do well. I work well with children; I take care of my pets..."  You get the picture! Don't believe the lies that often come with depression. Click here for more on this.

9.  Start a list of things you are thankful for - This one is connected to #8. Instead of mulling over all that is wrong with me, I can focus on what is right. Making a list of things I am thankful for can help me to change my default setting to one of gratitude. Habakkuk, a man in the Old Testament, chose to rejoice even when things seemed bleak. Learn more of his story by clicking here.

10.  Do something fun!  People who are depressed often experience anhedonia. This means that they no longer enjoy the things they once did. Many refrain from such activities because they believe the lie that they couldn't possibly have fun, nor does anyone want to be around them. The mind is a powerful thing. Go with an open mind and you might be surprised by the fun you are capable of. If the depression persists, consider #6 and talk to a doctor.

Depression is treatable. You do not have to suffer indefinitely. Take control of your health and be proactive about reducing your depressive symptoms. Pray and ask God to help you to return to a place of joy and contentment. Don't give up! Joy comes in the morning.

Mission Accomplished!

The young girl enjoyed playing in her room; she was content to teach for hours. Her stuffed animals and baby dolls made the best students. As she passed out their worksheets for the day, she explained to them, "People can be mean; they can steal your toys and cheat off your paper, but no one can ever take your education away from you. Never ever!"

From an early age, I valued education. I remember telling "grownups" when I was in elementary school, "One day I'm going to get my PhD!"

I'm sure my parents thought I was a naive dreamer, but they never let on. They encouraged me every step of the way. When I decided to enroll in graduate school, my mom said, "God put this desire in your heart. Not many people dream of getting a doctorate. Go for it!"

Eight years later and I finally achieved my dream. It took a lot of hard work, social support from family and friends, and God's goodness but I am proud to say that on April 11, 2016 I passed my dissertation defense. It still seems surreal. I feel awkward each time I introduce myself as Dr. Ford.

You see, it's not so much the title, but its the journey. I have always enjoyed a good challenge, and this one stretched me professionally and personally. I have learned so much along the way, and one of the lessons I've learned is gratitude.  I'd like to take this time to express my appreciation to a few people who impacted my life throughout this journey. I hesitate to do this because I will surely leave someone out, so please know this is not an exhaustive list.

Jeff - Thanks for putting up with microwave dinners and an unkempt house; thanks for helping me to set healthy boundaries and teaching me to prioritize. I love you!

Jorjanne - Thanks for believing in me when I questioned myself; thanks for giving me grace when you wanted to chat and I was typing away. You were very patient with me.

To the brave women who shared their stories for my research - Not only did you help me to accomplish a dream but your words have the potential to encourage other survivors for years to come! I admire you.

Tony & Wendy Farmer, Randy &  Melody Hester, and Kalib &  Mari Wilkinson - Thanks for opening your home and your pantry to me on numerous occasions! You saved me thousands!!!

Mama and Hershell - Thanks for your constant encouragement and for all the free babysitting! Mama, thanks for sitting through the defense and praying for me.

Daddy - You may be the only person who wanted this more than I did.

Bobbie - Thanks for the road trips to Lynchburg and the fun adventures along the way. You make learning fun!

To my Liberty friends -- I thank God for you and look forward to seeing what the future holds for each of you.

Ten Years Ago...

Ten years ago today I experienced the worst day of my life. There was a knock at the door from a man wearing a cleric's collar. I knew before he ever opened his mouth the message he had come to deliver. My husband, the man I loved with all my heart, was gone.

At the time it was difficult to even breathe. So many thoughts raced through my mind...things I needed to do...questions without answers...fury and overwhelming sadness flooded the depths of my being. I felt completely and utterly undone.

Ten years later I sit at my desk amazed at how God not only put the broken pieces of my life back together, but also created a beautiful mosaic that I never would have imagined from all the hurt and pain. On a weekly basis, I am able to offer hope to others whose lives have been touched by suicide. This was not a task I ever wanted, but it's one I am glad to offer.

I want to take a minute and share with anyone reading this who might be contemplating suicide. Many say that suicide is a permanent solution for temporary pain. I want to add something to that. While it may feel like suicide is the only way to end the pain, the pain doesn't stop after the suicide. The pain is transferred to your loved ones for years to come.

While God has brought healing into my life, the scars from the past remain. I still have hurts and at times tears from the pain Michael brought into our lives when he decided to end his. Don't believe the lie that your loved ones will be better off without you. Leaving them only changes the content of their pain. Talk to someone about your hurts. You can call the Georgia Crisis and Access Line 24 hours a day 7 days a week at 1-800-715-4225. You are not alone. There is help available.

I have journeyed a path I never would have chosen, but along the way God has shown me beautiful things I'd never seen otherwise. I have been given a second chance at love (Jeff, you're the best!) and a precious daughter that I adore. I've experienced sacrificial love from the Body of Christ and I've experienced the peace that surpasses understanding.

As I reflect on the past ten years, my feelings are mixed. There are hurts. There are sorrows. There are joys unspeakable. One thing has remained constant -- the peace that surpasses understanding that only Christ can give. I pray that you experience that peace as well.

Taste and See

I have resolved to start 2016 without sugar -- no sugar, no artificial sweeteners, and minimal carbohydrates. The first few days were rough, I won't lie. The withdrawal symptoms included headaches, aches and pains, and even an upset stomach. I pushed through and finally, I am beginning to feel myself again.

Why would I do this? One word -- my health. Last year I spent 60 days sugar-free and I had more energy, better focus, and felt much healthier. I want to take better care of myself so that this vessel can be used however God sees fit.

What surprised me is how obsessed I had become with food. Since I gave up sugar, I am hungry much of the time. I think throughout the day about what foods I can have and research recipes that fit into my new diet. Eating healthy has become a focal point in my thoughts.

I prayed and asked God to show me a verse to strive to live by for 2016, and he led me to Psalm 34:8 which says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." 

Ha! God has some sense of humor! Taste! As I have reflected on this verse on the first few days on 2016, I have viewed this in a new context. As I wean myself off of sugar, other healthier alternatives taste better; as a matter of fact, my taste buds are heightened and food tastes better in general! As I spend more and more time with the Lord, he wants the things of Christ to appeal more and more to me, and the things of the world will be less entreating. The more I delight myself in Christ, the more I recognize and acknowledge his goodness! 

Oh that I would spend as much time dwelling on God's Word as I do on what I can and can't eat...I think this is what God is teaching me. The more I feast on his Word, the more I will want to taste of its goodness. For now, my meditation is on the first half of this verse, but I am not ignoring the latter part.

"Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." Refuge. A place of peace. Safety. Quiet. As I sit quietly and taste -- no savor his goodness, I am blessed. No longer will I be consumed with the worries of the world; my focus will be on the goodness of God Himself. 

Oh that we would truly taste and see in 2016!

Give Tanks with a Grapeful Heart

Several years ago, I was working in campus ministry when a group of students decided to sing "Give Tanks with a Grapeful Heart." At the time we thought this was a great idea. As if the song wasn't enough, we dressed up as grapes with purple and green balloons and handed out toy tanks to everyone. Now looking back, I think how silly we were, but the spirit of our actions was sincere. We simply wanted to encourage others to be thankful.

In just two short weeks Americans will gather with friends and family for Thanksgiving Day. I began to wonder how many actually meditate on what they are thankful for on this day. Our focus tends to shift to the gobs of food, the guest list, and the Black Friday sale papers. This year, will you commit that day to truly be a day of Thanksgiving? Will you be intentional about taking time to thank God for all the blessings he has given to you?

I am interested in hearing how your family focuses on thanksgiving on this special day? Leave a comment and share your ideas...you never know, you might inspire someone else to be intentionally grateful (or should I say grapeful?).

Ten Lessons I Have Learned in the Past Nine Years

(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

1.  I have learned to love God for who He is and not for what he gives me.

2.  I have learned that when I am weak, He is strong.

3.  I have learned that it is not only OK to need others, but God planned it this way. In Genesis, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." He created us with a need for each other.

4.  I have learned that joy is not dependent on circumstances.

5.  I have learned that God truly does comfort us so that we can extend that comfort to others.

6.  I have seen joy come in the morning.

7.  I have experienced the peace that surpasses understanding and it is a beautifully baffling gift!

8.  I have learned that masking your pain does nothing for the healing process. Healing begins once   our hurts are brought into the light.

9.  I have learned that feelings are neither right or wrong -- they just are.  Knowing this means that there is no guilt or shame when it comes to our feelings.

10. There are no shortcuts in the grieving process. The only way to experience healing is to walk the   path through the pain. Praise God we do not have to walk it alone. There were times when Jesus carried me.

Unexpected -- A Song from My Hubby

When I was single, I prayed over a list of things I would want in a husband -- two lists actually.  I had a must-have list that had to be met to warrant a first date, and I had an added bonus list that I wrote saying, "God if you really wanted to bless me, these things would be great in a husband."  One of the things on the second list was someone who could sing and play guitar.  Jeff is not only a singer and guitar player, but he is a song writer as well.

I've been away this week for school, and Jeff wrote me a letter for every day I was gone.  Yesterday, he surprised me by sharing that the first line in every note was a lyric to a song.  I am so blessed to call him my husband and I thank God for not giving us both more than we ever dreamed.  Anyway, enough of the sentimental stuff. I was so impressed with his song, I wanted to share it with you.

Saying Goodbye to 2013

Toward the end of 2012, I began asking God to make 2013 a year of jubilee in my life. January 2013 would mark seven years since Michael’s death. In the Old Testament, the seventh year was associated with jubilee because debts were forgiven and people were given a fresh start. I prayed that this year would be a new beginning in my life.

As the year comes to a close, I am humbled by all that God has done in the past year. He has allowed me the opportunity to speak at multiple events and on several radio shows and he has used Tears to Joy to encourage others and to save lives. Knowing that God continues to use past hurts for his glory gives meaning to my pain.

 In April, God blessed me not only with a new husband (who I love with all my heart) but also with an amazing new family. I thank God for enriching my life with great in-laws who have welcomed Jorjanne and me with open arms.

I wondered how Jorjanne would adapt at all the new changes in our lives, but I never dreamed that God would bring such cohesion into our new family. This year for Christmas, Jorjanne gave Jeff a guitar pick that said, “Couldn’t  pick a better dad.” This pick serves as a reminder of God’s goodness whenever I see it. God has truly blessed our family. 

I’d like to leave 2013 behind praising God for all that he has done this year. Join me in this time of praise by leaving a comment on the website sharing what you are thankful for this year. 

How thankful are you?

November is the month where we verbalize our thankfulness. Millions of people are using social media to publicly list one thing they are thankful for each day this month. Why is it that we only focus on thankfulness one month a year? Every day that we live and breathe should be a day of thanksgiving.

Yesterday, I went to a women's event and heard Lysa Terkheurst speak. She shared about King Jehosophat from 2 Chronicles 20. He had just been told that his nation (Judah) was about to be defeated. He cried out to God and God told him to send a group of men to the front lines of the battle field and have them sing songs of thanksgiving to God. What? This is crazy! Another army is about to annihilate you and you send a choir to the front line to sing about thankfulness?? Jehosophat obeyed and God destroyed their enemy. Go God!

The Bible is filled with other examples of men and women who gave thanks to God, and when they did, God showed up in remarkable ways. It was only after Jonah utttered a prayer of thanksgiving that the big fish vomited him out onto dry land. Daniel was thrown into the lion's den because of his prayer of thanksgiving and we all know how that story ended.

So, I have to wonder, how would we experience God's work in our own lives if we spent every day in thanksgiving? I challenge you to give thanks not only everyday this month, but everyday for the rest of your life.

In order to get us into a mindset of thankfulness, I'm asking each person who reads this to comment with one think for which you are thankful.