Tears to Joy

Tears to Joy: February 2015

Thursday, February 5, 2015

People Can Be So Insensitive

Why is it whenever someone loses a loved one to suicide, people feel like they have the right to question everything? My heart aches for families who have lost someone to suicide. For example, Robin Williams daughter had to ask the public to respect their privacy…people make all sorts of allegations. Kay Warren has been open about the hurtful things people have said to her after the death of her son. I remember my blood boiling when people would ask, “Did you have any idea Michael was going to kill himself?” 

What kind of question is that? If I suspected, then am I to blame? If I had no clue, am I at fault?  The guilt. The shame. It was often so heavy it threatened to swallow me.

Trust me from personal experience. When you lose someone to suicide, you tend to replay every word spoken over and over again, searching for clues, for anything you might have missed…blaming yourself for not knowing…shaming yourself over your inability to prevent the suicide. We do not need others to throw stones. We do enough of that ourselves --- we assault ourselves with accusations and allegations, searching, hoping desperately to find some sort of answer…anything to explain WHY.

I have seen a multiple posts on Facebook recently attacking a family who lost someone to suicide. I beg you to stop!  No matter what your personal opinions, families touched by suicide are hurting and do not need you to inflict further pain.

When someone dies from cancer, we pray for their families and look for ways to offer comfort. Why then, do we treat those touched by suicide differently?  May we look for ways to offer comfort and support to all who are hurting without judgment or condemnation. 

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus…and as his disciples, may we do likewise.