tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44834759038803514562024-03-18T23:43:25.016-04:00Tears to JoyNataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.comBlogger278125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-51802185286127801712017-03-24T17:10:00.000-04:002017-03-24T17:10:18.081-04:00Seasons Change...and So Does LifeYou know how it is. You bump shoulders everyday with people who ask, "How are you?" If you are like most of us, you lie and answer "Fine." Fine. Fine? What does that even mean? <br />
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"I am well."<br />
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"I am happy."<br />
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"I am hurting."<br />
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All of these responses are telling, but fine -- what does that really mean?<br />
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I've struggled the past couple of months with this question. Fine just doesn't answer the question for me anymore, and yet most people aren't really interested in my life, they are just being polite. So....I have begun to answer saying, "Life has been tough, but spring has begun, and we are leaving winter behind."<br />
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Winter was filled with injury, physical sickness, and death. Jeff fell hiking on the A.T. and tore his patella tendon and had to have extensive surgery. Jorjanne and I both suffered from illness. One of my closest friend's lost her mom and then Jeff's mom passed away as well. Winter brought great pain -- both physical and emotional. Winter was bleak; it was a time of darkness...but praise be to God that spring has come!<br />
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As we look forward to the warm temperatures and specks of color to dot the landscape, we know that spring is not possible without winter. Without death, there is no life. Unless a seed dies, new growth does not occur. The same is true spiritually. Apart from the death of Christ, eternal life is not possible.<br />
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As I enter this new season, I am grateful that seasons change. The pain of today does not imply pain for tomorrow. The heartache from grief, though raw in winter, will eventually give way to healing.<br />
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James tells us to "Consider it pure joy when we encounter various trials." May we learn to choose joy!!Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-73532689775959739492017-02-22T09:08:00.001-05:002017-02-22T09:08:31.514-05:00Ascending in PrayerThis week I was reminded that apart from God everything is vanity. I can achieve intellectual pursuits, gain the world's riches, and obtain fame and notoriety but in the end they all lead to emptiness and vanity. Solomon, the author of Ecclesiastes, knew this all too well and said the ultimate purpose in life is to fear God and obey his commandments.<br />
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Paul challenged the great thinkers of his day in Acts 17. These men were great thinkers and were highly respected and yet they "didn't get it." Paul told them that God created all things so that people would search for God "and perhaps grope for him and find him" (NRSV). Knowing God brings indescribable fulfillment.<br />
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In my devotion this morning I read William Law's definition of prayer as "the rising of the soul out of the the vanity of time into the riches of eternity."<br />
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If life apart from God is in vain, then shouldn't we take every opportunity to draw closer to him. Too often our emotions keep us from God as we just don't feel like praying. Perhaps our intellect, too, keeps us from calling out to him in prayer. We mistakenly believe that God isn't listening or doesn't care enough to answer us so we cease to reach out to him. Ultimately, it is our will that determines our actions...will we be faithful to rise above the vanity on earth and reach into the riches of eternity with prayer even when we don't have "the want to"? <br />
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A dear friend was widowed for the second time in six years this month. There are nine children. Let that sit with you for a minute. How dare we get so caught up in the mundane things of life that we fail to cry out to God on behalf of our brothers and sisters like her who are suffering intense pain?<br />
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I am asking God to give me a renewed passion for prayer. May it be like air to my lungs. May I not settle for vanity on earth but strive daily to fear God and obey him. Will you join me in this journey?Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-19530523816660801802017-02-14T19:43:00.001-05:002017-02-14T19:43:53.197-05:00A New Twist on Valentine's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Each year I hear people bemoaning Valentine's Day (aka Single Awareness Day). Some feel jipped because they don't have anyone special with whom to celebrate. Others are grieving the loss of their Valentine to either death or to break up. The sad truth is that for millions of people, Valentine's Day is a day of great sadness and disappointment.<br />
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My question is "Why?" How did we get to a place where it is not only culturally acceptable, but culturally expected to elevate romantic love to a status above all other forms of love? Culture teaches that romantic love is to be sought after above all else.<br />
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What if instead of focusing on our relational status on Valentine's Day, we looked for practical ways to show love to others. A widow recently shared with a group of us how tough Valentine's Day is for her because her husband always spoiled her...my heart hurt at her declaration. To my surprise, not one, not two, but several of the people with me that day were moved to action. They sought out practical ways to express love to this precious woman on Valentine's Day.<br />
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Can you imagine the difference we could make if we were intentional about blessing others on Valentine's Day? I'm not suggesting couples neglect each other, but I am suggesting that instead of being self-focused we become other-aware. Will you make a commitment today to be a blessing to some unsuspecting person next year on Valentine's Day?Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-7446877610130981412017-01-21T21:07:00.000-05:002017-01-21T21:07:13.311-05:00Live LoveLittle did I know when I chose to pray <a href="http://www.natalieflake.com/2017/01/my-prayer-for-my-family-in-2017.html">Isaiah 26:3</a> for my family this year, the need we would have for the Lord's peace. Just two weeks after I wrote that post, Jeff fell hiking the Appalachian Trail and injured his knee. I was over an hour away. My heart threatened to leap out of my throat as I fought back the tears and wrestled to remain calm so that I could figure out what to do. Friends came to his rescue and long story short....Jeff tore his patella tendon and had emergency surgery to repair it and to reconnect his knee cap.<br />
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I have to brag on my man for a minute and say I have been astounded by his optimistic outlook and his positive attitude post-surgery. I was prepared for an ill-tempered brute who would dictate multiple demands, but instead I've been pleasantly surprised to see my laid-back prince of a guy continue to act loving and kind in the midst of his pain.<br />
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For this I am thankful. My heart is heavy tonight as I write because one of my dearest friends is learning to say goodbye to her mom. While women across the nation march for women's rights, I have witnessed a remarkable woman fight for her life. Politics tend to bring division and strife...days like today remind me of what really matters -- people.<br />
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Whether you are compelled to protest in the streets or to make your opinions known on social, I pray that you will do so with love. The catch phrase seems to be LOVE NOT HATE. This begins in the heart of each one of us. How are you treating those who are different from you? How about those whose beliefs conflict with your own? Are you able to love despite these challenges? Jesus said the world would know we are his children by our love. Sadly, I wonder how we are doing in that department.<br />
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Today I have witnessed tremendous love as I've seen the Body of Christ come together to honor a remarkable woman of God and to comfort her daughter. I challenge you to look at the hurting people around you...find ways to demonstrate love to them today. Don't just preach love -- live love.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-46103698582784554292017-01-02T21:39:00.000-05:002017-01-02T21:39:33.803-05:00My Prayer for My Family in 2017I asked the Lord to show me a verse to pray over my family for 2017 and I want to share it with you. I believe He led me to Isaiah 26:3 which says,<br />
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"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."<br />
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<i>Father,</i><br />
<i>I pray that you would help us to keep our minds set on you; remove any impure thoughts that prevent us from seeing and hearing you. Help us to trust in you no matter the circumstances. Give us the peace that surpasses understanding as we seek to know you more this year than we have in the past. May our home be a place of peace and may all who enter experience the peace that comes from knowing you. As we strive to know you more, may others be drawn to you through your work in our lives to transform us into your image. </i><br />
<i>In Jesus' name, </i><i>Amen.</i><br />
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Is there a passage God is calling you to pray over your life or your family this year? If so, I'd love for you to share it with me so I can pray for your family as well.<br />
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-44624959665039244662016-12-31T20:41:00.001-05:002016-12-31T20:41:58.072-05:00Describe 2016 with One Word - GO!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One word. This was the challenge. This morning I asked my Facebook friends to describe 2016 in one word. Many were heartwarming and made me smile; others hurt my heart. How would I describe 2016 -- complete.<br />
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In 2016 I completed my dissertation; I completed the PhD program and graduated. I completed the national mental health counseling examination and achieved several longstanding goals. Jorjanne finished driver's ed and completed her third high school drama performance. Jeff completed two thru-hikes as well as his first song-writing conference.<br />
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The election -- well praise God it is complete!<br />
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Several people I know and love completed the race this year; they fought the good fight and won the prize. I am grateful for the honor knowing some amazing people (I started to list them here but there are so many...suffice it to say we lost some "greats" this year.<br />
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In a few hours the year itself will come to both an end and a beginning. A new chapter. I look forward with great anticipation to what 2017 will bring.<br />
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So what is your word?Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-3262450412478142472016-12-17T19:47:00.001-05:002016-12-17T19:47:42.063-05:005 Ways to Deal with Family Conflict during the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The holidays bring families together; this can be a joyous time of celebration OR it can be a time of intense conflict and stress. Over the years, I've experienced both the magic of Christmas through the eyes of a child, and the horror of unfiltered, angry words instigating heart-wrenching pain.<div>
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If Christmas brings joy and peace in your home, give glory to God and thank Him for this gift! If the holiday season brings out the worst in you, or in those around you, here are some tips to help you cope during the holiday season.</div>
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1. The Bible calls us to pray for those who persecute us. Pray for the "black sheep" in the family. Pray for those who have hurt you in the past. Ask God to help you to forgive them. Love keeps no record of wrongs.</div>
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2. Take time outs. Be sure to schedule breaks where you can get away by yourself and refuel. Do this before things escalate out of control.</div>
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3. Pause before you speak and think about the potential consequences of your words. The Bible likens the tongue to a match that starts great fires...guard your tongue.</div>
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4. Read the Christmas story in Luke 2. Jesus humbled himself and left his throne in heaven to live in a world that would hate him, humiliate him, and ultimately kill him...and He knew this before He came. Why did he come then? Love. He loves the unloveable. He loves us in spite of ourselves. We can follow his example and extend love and grace to those who are difficult to lvoe.</div>
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5. Practice gratitude. When you are spending extensive time with your family, look for reasons to be thankful. Many are alone during the holidays; if you are with family, be thankful you are not alone. Many are grieving the loss of loved ones; be thankful for the people in your life today. Many are hungry and in need of shelter. Be intentional about practicing thankfulness.</div>
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When we do these things, our circumstances may not change, but our attitudes may. It is amazing how a change in attitude can become contagious. </div>
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Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-3674063612029158622016-11-04T10:56:00.000-04:002016-11-04T10:56:33.054-04:00Learning to ListenPanic. Dread. Unprecedented Fear. These emotions describe the turmoil in our car just moments before Jorjanne's first driving lesson.After a quick prayer, I gently instructed her on keeping it between the lines, knowing when to brake and when to speed up. As I did these feelings slowly began to dissipate. Peace and calm gradually filled the space once filled with anxiety and worry.<br />
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As I've reflected on our time together in the car I realized that in order for Jorjanne to focus on driving we had to tune out the distractions (turn off cell phones and radio). She listened intently to my voice and worked diligently to obey the commands given to her.<br />
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God wants us to do the same in daily lives. Too often distractions drown out his still, small voice until we are consumed with doing what the world deems important, and our thoughts become consumed with worry.<br />
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Henry Nouwen, a Roman Catholic priest and psychologist, wrote "Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life."<br />
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Let me say that again. "Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life."<br />
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If this is true, how many of us are failing to live a spiritual life? Why is it that so many of us avoid getting alone and being still before the Lord? I believe the answer lies in our own inability to stop our thoughts from wandering. </div>
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I don't know about you, but when I get quiet my mind starts to race. I think about my to-do list and have to fight the urge to not "do something." If I am quiet long enough anxieties, fears, hurtful memories, anger, and pain threaten to consume me. Uncomfortable with these feelings, I want to stop this "inner chat" and resume my life of busyness. "We are surrounded by so much outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when he is speaking to us."<br />
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This is the opposite of what God calls us to do. We are to be still before the Lord. It is only when we allow these thoughts to permeate us, that God is able to counter our hurts and fears with the peace that surpasses understanding. Slowly the Holy Spirit does a healing work in the deep recesses of our heart and soul.<br />
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One of my professors in seminary required that we spend 3 hours alone with the Lord. Honestly, I dreaded this assignment and thought it was a waste of time. So out of obligation, I gathered my Bible, a hymnal, a journal and my guitar and headed for the state park. In the beginning there was a lot of awkwardness. My mind wandered, and I would fight to bring it back to the Word. As I disciplined myself to be still, I experienced one of the sweetest, most intimate times with the Lord that I've ever had. I left that park different than I arrived. I left with contentment, peace and joy even though my life circumstances remained the same.<br />
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Nouwen stated it this way. "Our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God's healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings."<br />
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Spending 3 hours alone with God daily is not realistic for most of us. The point of this blog is to encourage you to find a starting point for solitude. Consider scheduling time in your calendar for solitude and don't let anything change that appointment. Get up early on Sundays and spend time preparing your heart for worship -- maybe even go to the Church and find a quiet place to pray and listen.<br />
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Solitude is not easy. It is awkward at first, but it has the potential to radically sanctify us and make us more like Christ. If Jesus was always intently listening to the Father, how much more do we need to do so?Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-46219491442352455092016-10-08T20:32:00.000-04:002016-10-08T20:32:59.248-04:00Venting on Social MediaYou've seen it. Someone is upset and they use the internet to "air out" their frustrations with someone else. College students complain about roommates. Individuals air the family's dirty laundry on Facebook, seeking to shame each other. Ex's use Instagram to denigrate the person who was once loved. Let's not even start with how bad this has gotten in political posts.<br />
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I'm not sure when the shift began, but more and more people are using social media to vent their anger, frustrations, and disappointments with others. Why? What is the point? Do the people engaged in online bashing hope to gain sympathy from others or are they attempting to bring shame and guilt to the alleged perpetrator -- or maybe it's a combination of the two.<br />
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I have to say, when I see this, rarely do I feel compassion or empathy for the person who has been "wronged," nor do I feel outrage at the accused. Instead, I often feel disappointed in the person who is posting derogatory comments about another person.<br />
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Slander is slander, and gossip is gossip -- whether in person or on social media. The scriptures compel us to go to the person we have a problem with and talk it out with them. If they refuse to listen, we are to take someone with us to talk to them. I wonder how many people who are lambasting others online have bothered to talk to the person with whom they are angry.<br />
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As I read people "venting" online, many of them do so because of unmet expectations. My husband often reminds me that expectations are premeditated resentments. We have to be careful not to expect others to read our minds, to know what to do, or even to do what is right. We can only control our actions, and not that of others. When others disappoint us, pointing it out to the world via social media may bring cause them pain, but it also smears our own reputation.<br />
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Now, as a disclaimer, I'm not writing this in response to any particular post, lest you think I am being passive aggressive and lashing out in my own subversive way. I've just noticed an increase in cyberbullying from adults. We talk about how this is wrong for our youth, but what exactly are we teaching them through our own social media posts?<br />
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If this post describes your past posts, I pray you will feel conviction and not condemnation or judgment. I pray that you will think twice before posting negative comments or posts about others. I admit, there have been numerous times when I was tempted to respond to posts with a tongue lashing of my own but I am doing my best to refrain.<br />
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The world of social media is a tangled web, but we can do our part to keep it classy.<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-72427838776518376122016-09-12T21:07:00.000-04:002016-09-12T21:07:00.673-04:00Hope for a Weary Soul<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the past few weeks I have been inundated with calls and meetings with people in crisis. Life is tough...there are days when we all wonder how we will persevere. In times of extreme stress, our brain releases cortisol in effort to help us regulate our stress response so that we can return to a state of homeostasis. In moderation, cortisol is a helpful hormone. The problem is when we live under constant duress, the body exerts excessive amounts of cortisol which can lead to high blood sugar, weight gain, gastrointestinal problems, cardiovascular disease, and suppresses the immune system. I wish this list was as bad as it gets, but sadly, stress leads many to consider suicide as an option for dealing with their pain. (Just minutes before posting this I received word from a loved one of a suicide in her circle of friends). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are times when we are unable to eliminate stressors in our lives, so what's a person to do? The answer lies in our ability to find healthy coping mechanisms to eliminate stress. We need to combat stress physically, mentally, and spiritually. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of us know that aerobic exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep all work to reduce the effects of stress. We can also combat stress symptoms by managing our mental health. Meditation calms a person physically and emotionally, leading to better mental health. In addition, research shows that practicing the spiritual disciplines helps to deter the harmful effects of stress. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next time you are overwhelmed with stress, take a time out. Get alone with the scriptures and meditate on God's Word. Some passages that have helped me in the past are:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"Because of the </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">’s great love we are </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">not</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">consumed</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">, for his compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:22</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Jas-1-2" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-30269F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30269F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text Jas-1-3" id="en-NIV-30270" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">because you know that the testing of your faith<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-30270G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30270G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>produces perseverance. </span><span class="text Jas-1-4" id="en-NIV-30271" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-30271I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30271I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and complete, not lacking anything.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text Jas-1-5" id="en-NIV-30272" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-30272J" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30272J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." James 1:2-5</span></span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-5" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Jas-1-5" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">but those who </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">hope</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">in</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">the</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: 24px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Lord</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> will renew </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">the</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">ir strength. </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">The</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">y will soar on wings like eagles; </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">the</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">y will run and not grow weary, </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">the</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">y will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As well as Isaiah 43 and Hebrews 12</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are some passages that have ministered to your soul in dark times?</span></span>Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-11152403585954739112016-09-01T20:54:00.000-04:002016-09-01T20:54:53.921-04:00Seized with Remorse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When asked to discuss suicide in the
Bible, most people point out Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus. Recently I
began to meditate on Matthew 27 and tried to imagine what was going through
Judas’ mind when he betrayed Jesus. Did he know the chief priests wanted to
kill Jesus? Did he think they were going to give him a position in the church
or community that would usher in the new kingdom? What exactly was he hoping
for?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whatever Judas thought, we know that he
was deeply grieved by the actual events that followed his betrayal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We, like Judas, rationalize our sin. We
try to justify why it is ok to betray the ones we love (through gossip and deception)
by convincing ourselves that it is really in their best interest. Rarely does
the outcome bring our intended results.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Judas heard that Jesus had been
condemned, he was “seized with remorse.” In other words, Judas was consumed with guilt.
He tried to soothe his guilty conscience by giving back the silver, but the
elders basically said, “Sorry man. The deed is done.” In anguish and shame, Judas cried out, “I have
sinned, for I have betrayed innocent blood.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wonder if the other disciples knew what
Judas had done. As far as we know, he didn’t confess his sin to the other
disciples. If he had, would they have forgiven him or would they have shunned
him? Regardless, Judas felt more alone than ever before. His guilt was
unbearable…he could not carry the burden of his sin. Judas only saw one way out of the
insufferable pain – death. “Then he went away and hanged himself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">September is Suicide Prevention Month.
Millions of people die by suicide each year. I have spoken with numerous women
who lost their husband’s to suicide. Many of these men lived with guilt and
regret (from affairs, poor financial decisions, deceit, hypocrisy, drug and
alcohol abuse, and more). Sadly, these men believed that their sins were
unforgiveable and they were consumed with guilt and shame, and lost all hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to clarify the difference between
guilt and conviction. Conviction leads to repentance and change. Guilt
continues to berate us and remind us of how terrible we are. The former brings
restoration, while the latter breeds self-deprecation and shame. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Judas was seized with remorse; he was
filled with regret. I’ve yet to meet anyone who survived a suicide attempt that
didn’t live with some form of regret. Many letters left behind from those who
died by suicide also express regret…there are times when the person doesn’t
really want to die, but only want to live without the pain – whether physical
or emotional. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t think Judas wanted to die; when he
left the temple, he threw the silver coins back into the temple. This was an
act of desperation; he could no longer live with the knowledge of his betrayal.
Death seemed his only out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’ve heard it said that suicide is a permanent
solution to a temporary problem. While this may be true, suicide merely shifts
the pain of the one who dies to the ones left behind. When my first husband
died, he transferred his pain to our family and friends as we sought to make
sense of his death. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Georgia has the highest attempted suicide
rate in the nation, while Delaware has the lowest (SAMSHA, 2009). What can we
do to help individuals who are contemplating suicide?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First and foremost, we can listen. Research
revealed that in 80% - 90% of all suicides, the person has told someone of
their intent prior to taking their lives. These are often cries for help. Don’t
take a threat lightly. For more information on how you can help someone, click
<a href="http://www.natalieflake.com/2015/09/depression-and-suicide-risk.html">here</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to leave you with the words of the
Psalmist:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And
why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise
Him, for the help of his presence.”
Psalm 42:5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No matter what you are going through,
there is hope! Cling to that hope, and when you feel like you’ve lost hope,
reach out to someone you love…sometimes hope may seem hidden, but it is always
there. Better yet – God is always there; He is on the throne. He sees your
pain. He cares. You can trust him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-35445169207865787472016-08-15T08:40:00.000-04:002016-08-15T08:40:02.870-04:00The Semicolon " ; "<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFWvzHffppWfd4DextnJKqPq4q_8EnCmSP4LnLyJCOCL-rsW1vNXL8BDtxZULthburFEifdkmkejAbF7qWicIVJvWnQ425F3ZRK0hI3ssVNlV_cMsyt3CIH-dMu9YAJcRMrwBjXIcFgHc5/s1600/semicolon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFWvzHffppWfd4DextnJKqPq4q_8EnCmSP4LnLyJCOCL-rsW1vNXL8BDtxZULthburFEifdkmkejAbF7qWicIVJvWnQ425F3ZRK0hI3ssVNlV_cMsyt3CIH-dMu9YAJcRMrwBjXIcFgHc5/s1600/semicolon.jpg" /></a></div>
Perhaps you have noticed the increase of tattoos, jewelry and clothing bearing the semicolon ( ; ). When writing, the semicolon is a symbol to pause. The author could have chosen to use a period, denoting a stopping point, but instead chooses to take a brief pause. Project semicolon started to raise awareness and support for suicide prevention. Those who have attempted suicide and have survivved are not defined by the attempt; their future remains unwritten.<br />
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While the past cannot be changed, we can pause and reflect, but then consciously choose to move forward. The semicolon has become a symbol of this resolve to move beyond the pain of the past and cling to hope for the future.<br />
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Yesterday I was meeting with a group of ladies in jail, and one of them said, "I just wish I had taken time to stop and think, before opening my mouth. I'm in here because I couldn't control my tongue." Can anyone relate? Maybe your words didn't lead to incarceration, but how many of us wish we had taken time to pause and think before speaking or doing something that led to more pain. <br />
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All of us have pains from the past that threaten to consume our present. We can choose to be the victim or to wallow in guilt OR we can choose to walk in freedom. May we take the message of the semicolon to heart. May we pause and reflect today on how we want our present and our future to look. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can control our response, and history has taught us that we control it much better when we take time to stop and think before we act.<br />
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So will you take 5 minutes to be still? Right now. Take 5 minutes and be quiet in the Lord's presence (Psalm 46:10), saying nothing -- just pausing for 5 minutes to listen. It will be awkward at first, because we live in a culture of noise and busyness. Stick with it, and you may be surprised by the result.<br />
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I leave you as I take time to personally pause, and be still before the Lord.<br /><br />***IF YOU TOOK THIS CHALLENGE, WILL YOU COMMENT ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE BELOW.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-34713869933745371872016-08-02T18:33:00.000-04:002016-08-02T18:33:43.552-04:00Reducing Back to School Anxiety<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRXcw5NbQOkxeLairZsckuKDI9QaeB1bdQq8YC5rExgIl3n5eAXXQg5GOocXpXhykOHHKGgNS5MJ9JrBHDRaO_g1hclOspfXNlbKNOBI8x6SYHEHLLNfmsZOIG-oBmZ8qq7h7QG6aHe3jf/s1600/first-day-of-school-frugal-coupon-living-1024x682-720x380.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRXcw5NbQOkxeLairZsckuKDI9QaeB1bdQq8YC5rExgIl3n5eAXXQg5GOocXpXhykOHHKGgNS5MJ9JrBHDRaO_g1hclOspfXNlbKNOBI8x6SYHEHLLNfmsZOIG-oBmZ8qq7h7QG6aHe3jf/s320/first-day-of-school-frugal-coupon-living-1024x682-720x380.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The first day of school can be stressful for everyone -- students, parents, teachers, and administrators. However, the anxiety students experience is unique. In an attempt to "fit in" they worry about who will and won't be in their classes, who they will sit with at lunch, and what to wear (after all they want to look good without drawing too much attention to themselves). How can parents help reduce this anxiety?<br />
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For starters, it is important to tell your child repeatedly how much you love her, and affirm her in the days leading up to the big day. Pick out clothes and shoes the night before and have the backpack packed and sitting by the door so you aren't rushing the first morning. Try to remain calm and supportive on the way to school the first day. Use humor to minimize anxiety. Consider letting your child choose what to eat for breakfast that morning or what songs to listen to on the way to school. Make the day special by showing your child how special he is to you!<br />
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Don't forget to talk with your child. Ask them what they are feeling? Normalize their nervousness. Give them tools to deal with their anxiety -- deep breathing, prayer, art, and music can all help regulate anxious feelings.<br />
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Lastly -- relax and enjoy the process. Before you know it, your child will graduate and you will miss these special days.<br />
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What do you do to help with the first day of school anxiety? Feel free to comment below and share with others...Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-24759774828057668312016-07-01T08:29:00.000-04:002016-07-01T08:29:44.883-04:00How Do You Love People Who Drive You Crazy?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTjblG0KkrsVVo11zHcowNUN_R4YPGamZTM5GPPUZAik9eTsBuwAs74R97glYUv5aN4PVkjDFSELk9BWnyT5pgFbB0dBHt3IWu81058bKhvpcm6NVksaedlSYBH-HfjjdRiuWqHp7Mzkby/s1600/sandpaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTjblG0KkrsVVo11zHcowNUN_R4YPGamZTM5GPPUZAik9eTsBuwAs74R97glYUv5aN4PVkjDFSELk9BWnyT5pgFbB0dBHt3IWu81058bKhvpcm6NVksaedlSYBH-HfjjdRiuWqHp7Mzkby/s320/sandpaper.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all have people in our lives that infuriate us; they know how to push our buttons, and they drive us mad. Some we defriend or unfollow on social media; others we avoid at all costs. I have a dear friend that calls "these people" sand paper people. God often uses "these people" to smooth out our own rough edges, to polish us so that we better reflect the light of Christ. It's easy to love the lovable, but to love the unlovable -- well now, that is a challenge. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus said, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them" (Luke 6:32). Sinners refers to unbelievers in this verse. If we want to be like Jesus we are called to love sandpaper people even if they don't love us back.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Knowing this is one thing, but doing it is quite another. How do we love difficult people? I've been pondering this and have developed a list (it is not exhaustive) of ways I believe we can practically love people who are hard to love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Speak kindness. We all remember our mom's saying, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything." This principle applies to loving the sandpaper people in our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Forgive. Easy to say, but hard to do. When we fail to forgive, bitterness and resentment set in making it almost impossible to love fully. Forgiveness is a process; sometimes we need to forgive daily. Forgiveness does not mean that we allow the person to continue to hurt us; it may involve setting healthy boundaries or even ending a relationship. Forgiveness does not mean the person's actions were acceptable. Forgiveness means we will no longer hold the past against the person in the sense that we want to get even. Forgiveness is more for us than for the other person.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Treat them with respect. As a person created in the image of God, every individual is worthy of respect. This does not mean you respect all of the person's decisions or actions, but that you will treat them with dignity even when they fail to do the same. We cannot control another person's actions, but we can control our own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Pray for them. This principle is self-explanatory, but one we often fail to do. The Bible commands us to pray for our enemies. I'm not suggesting sandpaper people are our enemies, but I am asserting that we are called to pray for them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are just a few ways I am striving to love the sandpaper people in my life. What are ways you practically love those in your life?</span></div>
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-55475489730519374942016-05-24T08:16:00.001-04:002016-05-24T08:17:38.972-04:0010 Things You Can Do to Counter Depression1. <b>Exercise</b> - Believe it or not, when you exercise, your brain releases pleasure-inducing endorphins which reduce perceptions of pain and produce a natural high (similar to a runner's high). When you are depressed the last thing you want to do is exercise, but if you can push through it, it is a natural way to counter those blues.<br />
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2. <b>Eat bananas</b> - Depression can be due to a decrease in serotonin levels. Bananas are a great source of serotonin, and have the potential to lessen the effects of depression.<br />
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3. <b>Get adequate sunlight</b> - Darkness triggers an increase in the production of melatonin in the body causing drowsiness. In contrast, sunlight is believed to increase serotonin levels increasing "happy feelings."<br />
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4. <b> Socialize</b> - When we are depressed we tend to isolate ourselves, and this feeds the depression. As we withdraw from social situations, our self-worth deteriorates and the self-deprecation begins. We were created for relationships, and we need others to help us during times of depression.<br />
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5. <b>Get up and keep a routine -</b> People who are depressed tend to sleep too little or too much. The tendency is to lie in bed all day. Again, this creates a vicious cycle. The more you lie in bed, the less energy you have, and the less motivated you are to get up. Fight through the temptation to lounge around in your PJ's. Get up and do the things you were do if you were not depressed. Keeping a routine helps to break the cycle.<br />
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6. <b>See a doctor</b> - If your depression persists for weeks, you may want to see your primary care physician and make sure there is not a physical reason for your depression. Chronic pain, thyroid issues, hormonal issues, decreased serotonin or norepinephrine can all contribute to depression. You want to rule out any physical etiology for your depression.<br />
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7. <b>Talk to a therapist or pastor</b> - There are times when life is just plain 'ole difficult. During these times we may need a trustworthy person in whom to confide. Consider talking with a minister or a counselor whom you trust. They can help you to process your thoughts and feelings, give you tools to counter your depression, and offer added support so that you no longer feel alone. Learn more <a href="http://www.natalieflake.com/2010/07/phantom-will-you-take-off-mask.html">here</a> about taking off your mask and being real.<br />
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8. <b>Replace negative thoughts with positive ones</b> - Depression is usually coupled with negative thinking. In order to stop our stinkin' thinking, we have to identify our irrational thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and counter them with true statements. For example, "My family would be better off without me," could be replaced with "If I was not here, my parents and my siblings would be very sad and would miss me." Another example is "I cannot do anything right." Replace this thought with "There are things I do well. I work well with children; I take care of my pets..." You get the picture! Don't believe the lies that often come with depression. Click here for more on <a href="http://www.natalieflake.com/2014/04/get-your-claws-out-of-my-head.html">this</a>.<br />
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9. <b>Start a list of things you are thankful for</b> - This one is connected to #8. Instead of mulling over all that is wrong with me, I can focus on what is right. Making a list of things I am thankful for can help me to change my default setting to one of gratitude. Habakkuk, a man in the Old Testament, chose to rejoice even when things seemed bleak. Learn more of his story by clicking <a href="http://www.natalieflake.com/2012/08/unexplainable-joy.html">here</a>.<br />
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10. <b>Do something fun! </b>People who are depressed often experience anhedonia. This means that they no longer enjoy the things they once did. Many refrain from such activities because they believe the lie that they couldn't possibly have fun, nor does anyone want to be around them. The mind is a powerful thing. Go with an open mind and you might be surprised by the fun you are capable of. If the depression persists, consider #6 and talk to a doctor.<br />
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Depression is treatable. You do not have to suffer indefinitely. Take control of your health and be proactive about reducing your depressive symptoms. Pray and ask God to help you to return to a place of joy and contentment. Don't give up! Joy comes in the morning.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-46972293900225829982016-05-10T20:04:00.001-04:002016-05-10T20:04:31.006-04:00May is Mental Health Month -- what will you do to improve your mental health?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Putting the groceries in the backseat, I climbed into the car and left the parking lot. As I inched toward the road I heard a soft hissing sound that quickly escalated into a loud pop followed by a louder hiss. Oh no! The soda I put in the back seat had just exploded!<br />
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May is Mental Health Month. If we want to be mentally healthy, we need to get regular mental health check-ups much like we get annual physicals. When we fail to do so, we tend to suppress our feelings and we later explode over the little things, much like the 2-liter coke did in my car today.<br /><br />How do we get a mental health check up? There are several ways of doing this:<br />
1. Meet with a mentor and discuss your strengths and growth areas as an individual.<br />
2. See a therapist or other mental health professional to process hurts you may have experienced throughout the year.<br />
3. Talk to a pastor about ways to improve your spiritual health and thus improve your mental health.<br />
4. Read a book about an area in which you'd like to grow healthier emotionally.<br />
5. Laugh. This is by far my favorite one. Watch a funny movie. Go to a comedy club. Hang out with friends. Do something that brings you joy. Relax and LAUGH.<br />
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What are you willing to do this month to improve your mental health?Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-76626159444038398242016-05-03T19:51:00.001-04:002016-05-03T20:14:17.253-04:00Mission Accomplished!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The young girl enjoyed playing in her room; she was content to teach for hours. Her stuffed animals and baby dolls made the best students. As she passed out their worksheets for the day, she explained to them, "People can be mean; they can steal your toys and cheat off your paper, but no one can ever take your education away from you. Never ever!"<br />
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From an early age, I valued education. I remember telling "grownups" when I was in elementary school, "One day I'm going to get my PhD!"<br />
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I'm sure my parents thought I was a naive dreamer, but they never let on. They encouraged me every step of the way. When I decided to enroll in graduate school, my mom said, "God put this desire in your heart. Not many people dream of getting a doctorate. Go for it!"<br />
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Eight years later and I finally achieved my dream. It took a lot of hard work, social support from family and friends, and God's goodness but I am proud to say that on April 11, 2016 I passed my dissertation defense. It still seems surreal. I feel awkward each time I introduce myself as Dr. Ford.<br />
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You see, it's not so much the title, but its the journey. I have always enjoyed a good challenge, and this one stretched me professionally and personally. I have learned so much along the way, and one of the lessons I've learned is gratitude. I'd like to take this time to express my appreciation to a few people who impacted my life throughout this journey. I hesitate to do this because I will surely leave someone out, so please know this is not an exhaustive list.<br />
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Jeff - Thanks for putting up with microwave dinners and an unkempt house; thanks for helping me to set healthy boundaries and teaching me to prioritize. I love you!<br />
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Jorjanne - Thanks for believing in me when I questioned myself; thanks for giving me grace when you wanted to chat and I was typing away. You were very patient with me.<br />
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To the brave women who shared their stories for my research - Not only did you help me to accomplish a dream but your words have the potential to encourage other survivors for years to come! I admire you.<br />
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Tony & Wendy Farmer, Randy & Melody Hester, and Kalib & Mari Wilkinson - Thanks for opening your home and your pantry to me on numerous occasions! You saved me thousands!!!<br />
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Mama and Hershell - Thanks for your constant encouragement and for all the free babysitting! Mama, thanks for sitting through the defense and praying for me.<br />
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Daddy - You may be the only person who wanted this more than I did.<br />
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Bobbie - Thanks for the road trips to Lynchburg and the fun adventures along the way. You make learning fun!<br />
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To my Liberty friends -- I thank God for you and look forward to seeing what the future holds for each of you.<br />
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-19846293182857698042016-03-22T20:47:00.000-04:002016-03-22T20:47:16.987-04:00A Life Changing Decision (well, for me anyway)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've always described myself as a "runner wannabe." For the first time in my life, I feel like maybe I am turning a corner...I started running 8 weeks ago with a friend doing the program from the couch to a 5K (C25K), and I actually enjoy running for the first time ever. Maybe its the camaraderie of running with a friend or the joy of getting my heart rate up while enjoying the fresh air. Whatever it is, I am thankful.<br />
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I decided in January to make a conscious effort to take better care of myself. I have avoided sugar and carbs so far in 2016, and partner that with running and I feel so much better.<br />
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For so long I knew I needed to exercise; exercise is my stress release, but yet I never found enough time to do it. I've learned a valuable lesson in all of this. Changing behavior begins with a conscious decision to start. One day I decided not to eat sugar and to exercise -- and I did not. The next day I made the same decision. Over time, I strung several days together and the result is a much happier, healthier me.<br />
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So, what habit do you need to change? What is it that you need to stop making excuses for and just start? Make a decision to do something different today - change happens one decision at a time.<br />
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Who knows, maybe you'll turn a corner like me. I'm no longer a runner wannabe but slowly but surely, I am becoming a runner.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-26566753453778849292016-03-17T13:55:00.001-04:002016-03-17T13:55:35.909-04:00Start writing!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Did you know that there are therapeutic benefits to journaling? Not only does it help you to purge negative thoughts and feelings as you write them down, but it also helps you to gain perspective. In a recent study exploring resiliency factors in women who lost their husbands to suicide, five of the six women discussed how writing in a journal or on a blog helped them move forward in the grief process.<br />
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We talk about the importance of exercise for our bodies, but journaling may be similarly helpful for our mental health and spiritual health. This allows us to see how we've changed and grown, and also helps us to identify areas where we may be stuck.<br />
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It isn't so much about how much you write or how often -- the key is to JUST WRITE!<br />
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I encourage you if you are not doing so already, take time to journal. Write when you are mad. Write when you are excited! Share your heart on paper. Not only will you be glad you did, but who knows -- your words may be an encouragement to someone else in the future.<br />
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How has journaling been beneficial for you? Will you share your experience with journaling to encourage others?<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-2241530312631883712016-02-20T13:25:00.000-05:002016-02-20T13:25:19.016-05:00The Dissertation Journey...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For the next several months, I will be immersing myself in research regarding resiliency factors in widows bereaved by suicide. I will be interviewing women who lost their husbands to suicide, hearing their stories and searching for meanings and trends to help others in the future who face such devastating loss.<br />
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I consider it a privilege to listen to the stories of these strong, resilient women who have endured fierce hardships both before and after the suicidal loss of their husbands. I hurt with these ladies; at times, I cry with them, and yet I rejoice at where they are today in spite of the past.<br />
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I ask you to join my in praying for these ladies as they share their stories in an effort to inspire and help other women bereaved by suicide. I also ask for you to pray for me as I walk alongside some of my "co-researchers" darkest memories. Pray for wisdom. Pray for insight. Pray for diligence and perseverance. Pray for unspeakable joy in the midst of pain.<br />
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The work is grueling, but I hope and pray that the end result will encourage others, offer hope, and potentially save lives.<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-67951158184717550982016-02-13T13:22:00.000-05:002016-02-13T13:22:25.112-05:00This is your brain "In Love"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Far too often, I hear people talk about falling in love as if love is similar to tripping and falling into a pit. If you can fall into love then you can fall out of love. This "falling" most people talk about is based on feelings. When a couple first "falls" for each other, the brain releases dopamine which is a feel-good hormone. Your brain continues to produce this pleasure-inducing chemical each time you think about your new "love." As the relationship develops, the brain releases adrenalin, epinephrine and norepinephrine which fuel the infatuation and obsession.<br />
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The problem is that many people equate this pleasure sensation with love. The body can only sustain high doses of the euphoric brain chemicals for so long. With time, the release of pleasure-inducing chemicals decrease and many people then believe that they have "fallen out of love." Then the cycle starts over...boy looks for girl to make him feel butterflies and excitement only to find that in time, the feelings fade.<br />
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Equating love with the way you feel is dangerous. If parents based loving their children on the times when they felt unadulterated bliss from their kids, there would be many loveless days in the family. First Corinthians 13 tells us love never fails.<br />
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I believe one of the reasons so many relationships fail today is because of the shallow view of love. First Corinthians gives a definition of love that requires sacrifice, commitment, and forgiveness. Love is a verb; it is a choice. We love because we choose to love, not because someone else makes us feel good or makes us happy. I hate the quote, "You complete me," in many Hollywood movies (as if we are somehow incomplete until we meet the one our soul loves -- hogwash). Instead, I love the lyrics to the more recent song by Casting Crowns "Maybe we were meant to be broken together."<br />
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There is no perfect Mr. or Mrs. Right out there. There are no perfect people (apart from Christ). Love keeps no record of wrongs, always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.<br />
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May we love with a biblical love!<br />
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-70190249198821718782016-02-11T12:47:00.000-05:002016-02-11T12:47:15.752-05:00Email correction for prayer partnersSeveral of you have notified me that you tried to respond to my email about needed help on my prayer team. I put the wrong email address -- Oops! (I am fully human). I have corrected it on the page but wanted to give you the proper email.<br />
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natalie@tearstojoy.org<br />
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Please email me if you would like to be a part of the prayer team!Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-35654226595467298252016-02-01T00:30:00.000-05:002016-02-01T19:26:47.674-05:00Special Time with your Children -- Do you accept the challenge?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Several years ago, I took a course where I not only learned a great deal about doing therapy, but also gained a few pearls related to being a mom. One of those "pearls" relates to special time. So often, we get so busy that we give our children our leftovers. What would happen if we would schedule 30 minutes a week when we give our kids our undivided attention and let them choose how to spend the time.<br />
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I'm not talking about going on trips or spending money on our kids, but making time in our daily life to be intentional to listen to them, really listen -- not to give advice but to hear their hearts. What if we played a video game with them, watched a silly show while snuggling on the couch, playing a board game or just talk. If you have multiple kids, make sure to give each child their own "special time." If it isn't possible to do this for each child each week, focus on one child per week or give each child 15 minutes. Just be sure each child gets their time with you.<br />
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Personally, I am inclined to doing an unplugged version of this where we turn off all forms of technology including our phones for 30 minutes and spend real, pure quality time together at least once a week.<br />
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Will you commit to do this for the month of February? Will you give your children 2 hours of your undivided attention (30 minutes a week) for a month? Comment below and let me know if you accept the challenge. I am eager to hear how you spend the time and the effects from being intentional about showing our kids we care.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-90933063056328828352016-01-27T08:44:00.000-05:002016-01-27T08:44:02.333-05:00Ten Years Ago...Ten years ago today I experienced the worst day of my life. There was a knock at the door from a man wearing a cleric's collar. I knew before he ever opened his mouth the message he had come to deliver. My husband, the man I loved with all my heart, was gone.<br />
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At the time it was difficult to even breathe. So many thoughts raced through my mind...things I needed to do...questions without answers...fury and overwhelming sadness flooded the depths of my being. I felt completely and utterly undone.<br />
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Ten years later I sit at my desk amazed at how God not only put the broken pieces of my life back together, but also created a beautiful mosaic that I never would have imagined from all the hurt and pain. On a weekly basis, I am able to offer hope to others whose lives have been touched by suicide. This was not a task I ever wanted, but it's one I am glad to offer.<br />
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I want to take a minute and share with anyone reading this who might be contemplating suicide. Many say that suicide is a permanent solution for temporary pain. I want to add something to that. While it may feel like suicide is the only way to end the pain, the pain doesn't stop after the suicide. The pain is transferred to your loved ones for years to come.<br />
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While God has brought healing into my life, the scars from the past remain. I still have hurts and at times tears from the pain Michael brought into our lives when he decided to end his. Don't believe the lie that your loved ones will be better off without you. Leaving them only changes the content of their pain. Talk to someone about your hurts. You can call the Georgia Crisis and Access Line 24 hours a day 7 days a week at 1-800-715-4225. You are not alone. There is help available.<br />
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I have journeyed a path I never would have chosen, but along the way God has shown me beautiful things I'd never seen otherwise. I have been given a second chance at love <i>(Jeff, you're the best!)</i> and a precious daughter that I adore. I've experienced sacrificial love from the Body of Christ and I've experienced the peace that surpasses understanding.<br />
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As I reflect on the past ten years, my feelings are mixed. There are hurts. There are sorrows. There are joys unspeakable. One thing has remained constant -- the peace that surpasses understanding that only Christ can give. I pray that you experience that peace as well.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483475903880351456.post-55447232525702336182016-01-18T16:02:00.000-05:002016-02-11T12:45:46.105-05:00Prayer Team Needed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKm2si4QXxr2zc0nEDySD1B3mn6cgU_Kl7bIv-AhezHYOxJyimKOiN654U80UeM7kDOiALQc1VGIwL3fhlW4ZHDKkoV9DzlaoMkFG3NesbOwoDMuGNKtsKV_7qTLTENMNjP104ZWhBWWqR/s1600/1935991_1187704488874_6262341_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKm2si4QXxr2zc0nEDySD1B3mn6cgU_Kl7bIv-AhezHYOxJyimKOiN654U80UeM7kDOiALQc1VGIwL3fhlW4ZHDKkoV9DzlaoMkFG3NesbOwoDMuGNKtsKV_7qTLTENMNjP104ZWhBWWqR/s200/1935991_1187704488874_6262341_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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Four years ago, a dream came true for me. <i>Tears to Joy</i>, the book describing my
journey through my husband’s bipolar disorder and suicide, was finally
published. Many of you celebrated with me. It seems like only yesterday.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If all goes well, I will finish my dissertation and graduate
with my doctorate in Professional Counseling this year. Knowing the finish line
is in sight begs the question – What’s next?<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are so many good things I could do, but I want to be
intentional to do what God wants and not what I want. At this time, I plan to
continue working as a therapist and as a professor. However, I would also like
to spend more time focusing on developing my ministry, Tears to Joy. In order
to prepare, I believe the best next step for me is to develop a prayer team to
partner with me in this ministry. I am looking for a few select individuals
with whom I can share very real prayer requests as I seek God’s direction for
this ministry. <o:p></o:p></div>
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God may bring this ministry to your mind and I ask that when
He does, you pray for me whether you are a part of the prayer team or not. For
those on my prayer team I am asking them to set aside at least 15 minutes twice
a week to be intentional about praying for Tears to Joy. I am looking for
people with a heart for ministry, particularly for the brokenhearted, that are
committed to prayer and fasting, to walk alongside me and seek God’s face on
behalf of this ministry.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you are interested in being a part of my prayer team,
please email me at natalie@tearstojoy.org for more information. <o:p></o:p></div>
Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00857575002327636728noreply@blogger.com0