Tears to Joy

Tears to Joy: May 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Saying Goodbye to LOST

I keep getting emails asking me why I haven’t blogged about the LOST finale. Well here it is! To be honest, I struggle with what to say. For years now, my friends and I have gathered on a weekly basis to watch this amazing show. I am sad that LOST has come to an end…but did it really? In my mind, so many questions remain that it has not truly ended for me. I’ve read the commentaries on other blogs and heard lots of theories regarding the show’s meaning, but I’m still LOST. I think the show was brilliant! Did it answer my questions? No. In some ways, that is how life is. We don’t always understand why things happen the way they do. Sometimes we can understand in retrospect and other times we still don’t get it. That’s how I feel about LOST.

Do I regret giving six years of my life to a relationship that has an unresolved ending? Surprisingly, I don’t. It has been quite the adventure and I’ve met lots of other LOSTIES along the way with whom I now share a common bond. One thing that was evident throughout the show was its emphasis on relationships. Technology has made it so much easier to stay in touch with people from the past and to meet new people. However, I’ve also found myself online talking to people on facebook while others sit in the same room with me doing the same thing. I’m not really sure where I am going with this, other than to say that people are important.

We laughed with Hurley as he encouraged others to lighten up and with Sawyer as he gave everyone nicknames. We cried when those we cared about were hurting or even dying. Sometimes (most of the time) we were downright confused about what was happening yet we kept coming back for more. That’s how I want to be with my friends. I want to laugh and cry with them; I want to stick by them in the good and the bad; I want to be the kind of friend that sticks around even when things don’t make sense.

So, did I like the way LOST ended? Not at all. Am I disappointed in the show? No. For me, once a LOSTIE, always a LOSTIE (Ok, so that’s a little corny but its how I feel).



Wednesday, May 19, 2010


When our kids are young, we celebrate all of their firsts: first tooth, first crawl, first step, first day of school…you get the picture. However as we get older, we tend to stop noticing firsts. How many of you remember the first time you ever checked the mail or the first time you ate a hot dog? Anybody remember the first time you paid a bill? Ok, so some of these are so boring we don’t want to remember them, but what about firsts we have yet to do!

I’m always up for a new adventure. If we stop trying new things, life becomes dull and mundane. Today I had two new “adventures.” The first is that I tried my hand at golf for the first time ever. I must say I laughed more than I actually made contact with the ball, but what great fun! The mountain laurel were in bloom, we could see mountain views, and even saw two deer along the way.

This morning I let one of my friends paint my hand and foot with henna. I’ve always wanted to be like the Middle Eastern women who paint their bodies with the stuff and now I can say I have. I guess the point of all this is that life is short. What are the “firsts” you’ve yet to do but still long for? I’ve decided this summer to work on making my own bucket list, and then I’ll start trying to accomplish them.

Its silly to think that playing golf and having real henna tattoos would be on my bucket list but they were. Now I can cross them off! What sort of things remain on your bucket list? Life is short! Enjoy the adventure!!


Thursday, May 13, 2010


This week I started a group on Facebook called Tearstojoy. It is designed to connect people whose lives have been touched by mental illness or suicide. My hope is that by networking people with similar stories, we can encourage and support each other. I must say that I have been blown away by the response. My inbox has been flooded with people sharing their stories. Many of the people struggling with a mental disorder beg me not to tell anyone else. Why is it that so many feel as if they must struggle in silence? What must we do to get rid of the stigma associated with mental illness.

There have been some amazing people throughout history who had mental illnesses. Abraham Lincoln suffered from depression. Beethoven and Van Gogh are said to have been bipolar. Hemingway was suicidal. To read about others, click here.

I think the only way to overcome the stigma is by telling our story and that is one of the reasons I chose to share my own. If you or someone you love has a mental illness, feel NO shame. It is no more shameful than having cancer or diabetes. Hold your head high! Don’t let fear or embarrassment prevent you or someone you love from getting help. If someone you know suffers with mental illness, love them unconditionally.

I pray that one day the stigma that makes many see mental illness as taboo will disappear. This will happen one person at a time.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Touched by Suicide

Why? Why? The questions plague my soul yet there are no answers. I recently received a phone call that Michael’s cousin committed suicide. This is the fourth suicide to touch his family in four years. My heart hurts not only for this loss, but also for his family. I have been in a place when I felt desperate and hopeless; I know what it is like to experience the “black night of the soul.” So many people are so desperate to escape the pains and sufferings of this world that they take drastic measures. Suicide may offer a way out for the one afflicted, but it leaves tremendous heartache and pain for those left behind. It is such a selfish act that focuses on present circumstances, and often does not take into account the people it leaves behind.

It seems so commonplace today to hear of people committing suicide. When did this become so widespread? Our culture thrives on busyness, but I fear that our constant busyness has caused us to miss many hurting people around us. We need to pray and ask God how we can support those around us who are hurting. We need to help them find hope!

I covet your prayers during this time. Please pray for our family!


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Confessions from a LOST junkie

I’ve been thinking about how we blog about things that are important to us. As I reflect on this principle, I was surprised to realize that I have not yet written about LOST. I am going public here and now. I am an addict – I am addicted to LOST. Not only do I watch LOST twice a week but I also spend the months between seasons watching old episodes in hopes of finding clues to help me make sense of this fantastic storyline. Someone recently asked me what it is that keeps me coming back for more LOST and my first response was the mystery. I love a good mystery, especially one full of surprises and I must say LOST has not let me down in this sense at all (its sometimes more mystery than my mind can handle).

I’ve also come to realize that I love LOST because of the characters. Over the years I’ve found myself celebrating victories with them and also crying over losses with them. There are those I adore (Jack and Desmond) and those I can’t stand (Locke and Kate in particular). Its been a journey with these guys (and gals) and one that I am sad to see coming to an end.

It reminds me of the many friendships I’ve had in my life. Some have been lifelong friends, those with whom it seems like no time has passed no matter how long we go without talking. Others were friends for a season. Those who were in my life for a season are no less important to me; many have impacted my life in ways that I’ll never forget. That’s how I view LOST. I know its kind of hokey but its filled an important season in my life. It helped me to take my eyes off of my own circumstances and tragedies (even if for only an hour) and to focus on someone else’s bizarre predicaments.

As I find myself turning the page to a new season of life, I suppose I need to prepare to let go of some of the things from the past; I suppose its timely for LOST to come to an end. I thank each of you has journeyed with me in my own life and in the LOST escapades (its amazing how instantly connected you feel when you meet another LOST junkie).

So my final question is for all those LOST junkies out there. What are your favorite LOST moments???

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Generation Gap

I teach teenagers for a living, but a must say that they also teach me. For example, did you know if you send a text to chacha, you can ask any question and "he" will write you back with the answer. Watch out teachers!!! Students texting during a test may not be talking to their mamas. LOL! I remember being excited about AskJeeves and now you can find the answers to your questions from your phone. How cool is that!

My mother-in-law recently came for a visit and she came up to me with the Wii remote in her hand asking, "What is this?" I told her it was the remote the the Wii. "The what? No, what is this?" she asked. I explained to her that it was to a video game and then she said, "Really? I saw the cross on it and I thought it was one of those things that would call for help in case you fall and couldn't get up." LOL!