Favorite psychological movies --- Go!

I love to snuggle in a warm blanket and watch a good psychological movie that portrays mental illness in a real life context. One of my favorites is an old movie I show my Human Growth and Development classes called, The Bad Seed. Also among my favorites are A Beautiful Mind and Shutter Island.

I am looking to expand my library. What are some of your favorites?

Walking in the Dark

I am so grateful for family. I don't live near my family so anytime I am able to spend with them is a blessing. A couple of months ago I visited my aunt and uncle, and in the middle of the night I woke up and went to the bathroom. When I went back into my room, I could hear their dog breathing and wagging his tail. It was pitch black so I couldn't see the little fellow; I began reaching for him to put him out, but could not seem to get my hands on him. Reaching for the light switch, I slid my hand down the wall. Where was that blasted switch? I reached and reached to no avail.

Pausing to think, I decided to go back into the hallway and turn on the hall light so that I could see to get the dog out of the room. As I turned to exit, I felt clothes on all sides. What? I was somehow in a closet. I went back into the bedroom and tried to leave again only to find myself once again in the closet. What in the world? Startled and disoriented, I stopped and pondered what to do. Aha! I would get my cell phone off the bed and use it as a flashlight. Why didn't I think of that sooner?

So, I practically leaped out of the closet and over to the bed. When I reached for my phone, I jumped in terror as I grabbed a leg! Where was I?  My uncle sat up in the bed as my aunt asked what I was doing. Mortified, I turned and ran back into the closet. I turned around and couldn't find another door. I rushed back into the closet as I frantically tried to leave the room. My aunt was calling out to me, "No Natalie, the other door." I couldn't see another door. Finally, my uncle turned on his phone so that I could see well enough to race out of the room. Embarrassed does not begin to explain my plight!

While I can laugh about this now, at the time I was both confused and lost. This is what happens when we walk in darkness. One wrong step and our path changes. We make one seemingly small compromise and it leads us down a path toward other compromises, taking us further astray. The alcoholic convinces himself that just one drink is harmless...thus begins the journey away from sobriety and toward a path he swore he'd never walk again. The teenager justifies that she can make out without crossing her boundaries only to find herself slowly progressing down a slippery slope to a path she swore she'd never take.

There are times when all it takes is a little light to set us back on track. Just as the cell phone lit up the room illuminating my exit, God's Word will guide us to a path of hope and restoration. May we take time daily to fill our lives with the Light so the darkness will flee from our lives.

Unexpected -- A Song from My Hubby

When I was single, I prayed over a list of things I would want in a husband -- two lists actually.  I had a must-have list that had to be met to warrant a first date, and I had an added bonus list that I wrote saying, "God if you really wanted to bless me, these things would be great in a husband."  One of the things on the second list was someone who could sing and play guitar.  Jeff is not only a singer and guitar player, but he is a song writer as well.

I've been away this week for school, and Jeff wrote me a letter for every day I was gone.  Yesterday, he surprised me by sharing that the first line in every note was a lyric to a song.  I am so blessed to call him my husband and I thank God for not giving us both more than we ever dreamed.  Anyway, enough of the sentimental stuff. I was so impressed with his song, I wanted to share it with you.

Rambling through the Snow

OK, so today is one of those days that I am reminded that I grew up in the south.  I went to class this morning in Virginia and there was less than an inch of snow on the ground.  At noon, classes were cancelled for the rest of the day, and so I faced the blizzard-like conditions on my way to the car.  Snow was piled on top of my car five to six inches deep.  "So cool," I thought.

Well, I threw all my stuff in the car and climbed in the seat.  As I turned the ignition, I realized that I needed to clean off the windshield and the snow was too heavy for the wipers to do the trick. I climb back out of the car and wipe off the snow using my hand (no gloves mind you) and my arm.  I cranked up the defrost and off I went.

About a half a mile up the road I realized that I should have cleared off the side windows and the back window too.  I couldn't see to change lanes.  Not really thinking, I rolled down the window to clear off the snow when an avalanche of ice and snow fell into my car.  I quickly rolled the windows back up, but I still couldn't see.

Finally I pulled over and wiped down the windows and the back windshield, and left again.  This time I noticed that my side mirrors were snow covered, my seats were drenched, and my fingers were frozen.  I shivered as I continued to drive, and I realized that if my Ohio colleagues could see me I would be the laughingstock of class.

You see, in Georgia, if it snows even a little, life stops.  Stores close. Schools cancel.  Everyone stays indoors and praises God for a day of rest.

I was definitely humbled as I travelled in the wintry mix today.  I am grateful to be indoors where it is nice and cozy, and I thank God that I live in the South.

Facebook in Real Life

A group of students were hanging out in my office laughing and talking in my office one morning – a pretty normal occurrence. As one of the students walked out, he said, “Man, this is like facebook in real life!”

This generation is so wired, so connected technologically that many are lacking in social skills. When I was in school, if the teacher finished early, we were quick to chat with our friends. This generation’s default seems to be to grab their phones or ipods.

As a mom, I want to help my daughter to find balance when it comes to technology, but this is easier said than done. I’d love to hear from some of you about what you are doing to help your children balance social media with “real life.”

Things aren't always as they appear

Last month at work, I grabbed a tube of chapstick out of my drawer. Just as I was about to put it on my lips, something caught my eye. Drawing back, I gasped. I wasn’t holding chapstick; I was holding a glue stick!!!

Now I’m notorious for doing stupid stuff, but I’m so glad that I caught myself before making this mistake.

Things aren’t always as they appear. We need to look so that we see, really see what is going on around us. A friend smiles and says she’s fine, when deep down she’s hoping you’ll ask her how she really is. When you ask your son what happened at school, he replies, “Nothing.” In your heart you know he’s hurting.

May we not be deceived by the Father of Lies, but may we see clearly. Pray and ask God to help you see the world the way he sees it.

Happy Sunday! (By the way, I’m getting married in 2 weeks!!!!!)

Top Ten Favorite Books

So call me a nerd. I love, love, love to read! I love all books -- fiction, nonfiction -- it doesn't matter to me. I read for pleasure and I read to learn. I just love reading!

While there are many classics I enjoy (Jane Austen, St. Augustine, Plato...), I've compiled a list of some of my more recent favorites. The Bible is an obvious choice that trumps all the others on my list, so I didn't even include it below. If you're looking for a good read, here are my recommendations.

Top 10 Favorite Books

(In no particular order)

1.      Heaven by Randy Alcorn

2.      Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

3.      Putting Amazing Back into Grace by Michael Horton and J. Packer

4.      Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

5.      Kisses from Katie by Beth Clark and Katie J. Davis

6.      One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

7.      Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

8.      Prodigal God by Tim Keller

9.      Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On by Stormie Omartian

10.  The Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

If you've read any good stuff lately and have any recommendations, I'd love to hear from you!

In the Bucket

Last week a friend was going through old newspaper clippings for our scrapbook at work, when she came across an article entitied, "What's in your Bucket?"  Dr. Mike Davis, from First Baptist Cleveland writes about how we are earthen vessels (2 Corinthians 4:7). He goes on to talk about times when we are carrying a cup of coffee and are jostled and what's inside of the cup spills out. He challenges readers to examine what is in their earthen vessel and spills out when they are jostled by life. I was so excited to find this in light of my last post, so I had to share it with you.

Now, as promised, I'm going to share a few of the things on my "bucket list" (not that you really care, but if I write them down, then I can check them off later, right?). 

1. Ride an elephant
2. Visit all 50 states
3. Finish my PhD
4. See a Grizzly Bear in Alaska (but not too close)
5. Visit Ireland
6. Visit the Grand Canyon
7. Ride in a hot air balloon
8. Safari with someone I love
9. Visit Amicalola Hike Inn
10. Ride in a Helicopter

Have you thought about what would be on your bucket list? If so, I'd love to hear from some of you. My list is forever growing and changing, and you may have some great ideas for me to add!

A Bucket Full of Fun

Several years ago a friend and I drove from Georgia to Canada and had quite the adventure. On the way home, we were both delirious from lack of sleep and from the long drive and we became quite silly (OK, I know you’ve been super silly too when you were tired).

We saw a woman walking down the road in front of a row of stores carrying a bucket. Hmmm, we began to wonder. Why is she carrying that bucket?  Maybe she is going to get water --- nah, this is America. Maybe she is going somewhere to collect berries. Hey she could use it as a rain hat.  On and on we began to brainstorm the thousands of ways you could use a bucket. As we began to exhaust our list we decided that a bucket would be the perfect Christmas gift for us to give to our friends.

We decided to randomly call some of our friends to take a poll to see how many of them would appreciate it if we gave them a bucket. The conversations went something like this:

Me:   “What would you think if someone gave you a bucket as a gift?”

          Friend:  “It would be a drop in the bucket compared to other gifts.”

Me:  “If I gave you a bucket, what would you do with it?”

          Friend:  “What?”
           Me:  “You know, if I gave you a bucket you could carry a tune in it. Wouldn’t that be a great gift?”    
                         
           Me:  “Hey, what would you think if I gave you a bucket for Christmas?”
           Friend:  “A bucket…I guess it would be ok as long as you don’t kick it.”

 

Ok, I know it’s corny but we were sleep-deprived and we got a lot of laughs out of all the bucket talk.

 What are some fun ways you could you use a bucket?  I've included a few pictures below to inspire you.

 

                                                To play fetch with the dog

                                                         As a lampshade

                                  To complete important missions

(My next blog post will be about your bucket list)

Did I Say That?

We all have those moments. You know -- those times when dumb just jumps right out of our mouths. My daugher tells people that she is a brilliant brunette with blond moments. I have more of these moments than I care to admit and for some reason, my friends never let me forget them.

Recently a friend sent me an email with many "idiot sightings" and I thought I'd share a few of them here with you along with some of my own. Feel free to share those times when you've said something you regretted or have seen someone else have a "blond moment."

True story that happened to me:  One night after a movie, I went to Sonic with some friends. I ordered an ice cream cone. They guy brought everyone's order and handed me a cone -- with no ice cream. I said, "Can I have some ice cream with that?" to which he said, "Oh, yeah..."

An example of one of those times when dumb jumped out of my mouth:
We were in Kenya and I was preparing to teach a women's Bible study group about David and Bathsheba. In front of our team, I said, "I'm thinking about dressing up like Bathsheba for my study." (OK, if you don't get it, read the story of David and Bathsheba in the Bible).

Sightings from others: 

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00. I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

I'd love to hear from you! What's something you said that didn't quite come across the way you meant?

What is a Pre Release Party?

Now that Tears to Joy has been published, I want to offer my family and friends a chance to buy it prior to the release date of November 20. This is why I am hosting a pre-release party Friday, October 5 at the Bridge Church. I will be available to sign copies of the book and to answer questions as we celebrate what God has done in turning my tears to joy! I will share about the book in a brief interview and then we will have a short time of worship where we can give God the glory he deserves. While I am so thankful for the opportunity to share my story in this book, this book is about God much more than it is about me, and I want the pre-release party to be a time of thanksgiving for all he has done.

The party starts at 7:00 and there will be a short program. There is no obligation to stay, so feel free to drop by for just a few minutes. I’d love to see you there!

Swallow Me Please!!!

We all have those moments when we wish the ground would swallow us up and hide us from the embarrassment we are to ourselves. I've had way too many of these moments recently. You know what I'm talking about...those moments when you strut out of the bathroom only to be told your skirt is tucked in (yes, that happened to me today), or those times you trip and fall down the stairs (did that one today, too).

The older I get, the better I get at laughing at myself. (I've always been somewhat of a klutz.) Why is it we feel like we are supposed to have it all together all the time? Why are we so worried about what others think? People who have it together often intimidate me. My closest friends are those who can admit their shortcomings, and keep on keeping on.

In my psychology class today, I was teaching about the brain and neurotransmitters. We were discussing how neurons continue to move into the cerebral cortex until emergent adulthood. Reasoning skills improve as more neurons move into this area of th brain. After class, one of my students said, "I'm gifted. I just haven't opened all of my boxes yet." I love this! Wish I could use that excuse!

I love Francesca Battistelli's song, "This is the stuff" because it describes my life so well. Enjoy!

Big Gift in Small Package

I’ve always heard big things come in small packages, but I never dreamed this small package would get so big. Last year we went on vacation as a family of four (me, Jorjanne, our dog, and our cat) but we came home a family of five. We adopted a pet turtle named Polkala (Pokey for short). He came with a cute little “habitat.”  It didn’t take long for him to steal our hearts.

I love to sing and one day I realized that every time I’d sing, he’d stick his head out of the water to listen. Then Jorjanne and I made up a silly song about his name and we began singing it to him every time we’d feed him. Not too long ago, he started taking the food right out of our hands.

We’ve had Pokey for a year now and my mom asked what I wanted for my birthday. I thought and said, “Hmmm, I think I should get Polkala a new aquarium.” Now, I had a small fish bowl in mind when I went to Pet Smart. Imagine my surprise when the clerk told me that Pokey would get to be the size of a football. She told me that if I continued to keep him in the small container, his shell would grow soft and he would die. We couldn’t let that happen! Not knowing if this was true or if she was just a good salesman, I knew I couldn’t take a risk of letting Pokey die. Now we have a huge aquarium in our living room for him. He’s been in it a week and a half and has already grown. I was shocked!

Once again, I’ve learned that it’s the little things in life that make up the big things. If I had known Pokey would get so big, I probably wouldn’t have bought him --- but I’m glad I did!

This is Pokey when we first bought him and you can see his home with the palm tree.

This is Pokey today.

 This is his new home.

Pause

I’ve been reminiscing through pictures from my trips to Kenya and I am reminded just how much I love both the land and the people of this beautiful country. Apart from the people, the thing I miss the most about Kenya, is the simplicity of life. In America, we get so busy running the rat race called life. How often do we take time to just sit under an oak tree and do absolutely nothing! I’m not suggesting we should be lazy (the Kenyans are incredibly hard-working, particularly the women I met), but I am suggesting that we take time to enjoy life. So often I am guilty of focusing on my “to do” lists and striving for the future that I miss the present moments.

Some of the photos remind me of fantastic memories. I laugh as a giraffe licks a snack from my hands. I giggle with the children as we try to communicate even though neither of us understands the other. My focus was not so much on doing great things in Kenya, but on being with the people and allowing Christ to “be” in me. Why is it so hard to be versus do when I am home?


This weekend our youth are at Disciple Now and the theme of the weekend is Pause. So, today I am taking time to pause. If it weren’t so rainy outside, I’d go and chill under the trees in my hammock, but instead I will be content to sit by the window and listen to the rain fall, to listen to the sound of laughter coming from Jorjanne’s room as she plays with a friend. I will be content in the moment for the grace of God is far more than I ever deserved.

I am going to share a few of my favorite pictorial memories from Kenya with you, and I invite you to pause and reflect on God’s goodness in your own life.

LOL post

Ok, so today’s post is supposed to be a funny story…

When this happened, I wasn’t laughing, but when I look back on it, I crack up. A couple of weeks ago I went to McDonald’s before class and got breakfast and coffee. When I got to work and was walking up the front stairs of the building, I stumbled. Not wanting to spill my coffee I wobbled trying to find my balance.

The problem was, I over compensated and I went down. My coffee went flying and hit the front door, bounced off and dumped out on my head as I fell. I was lying on the ground in a heap with skinned knees, and coffee dripping off my head. As I stood and entered the building, I was greeted by those who saw me fall. I was a mess. The bag holding my breakfast fell apart and my McGriddle was extra soggy. My hair was sopping wet, coffee streaks were running down my face, my jacket was drenched and my knees were bleeding. What a great start to the day!

I’ve spilled coffee many times before but never on my head. I’ve tried to find the lesson in this and I guess it’s that this was a character building day --- and that it’s important to laugh at yourself. Laughter truly is the best medicine!

This post was written as part of NHBM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

Day 8: 3 Truths and 1 Lie

Out of the four statements, three are true and one is a lie. Can you guess the lie?

1. When I was younger, I had my mouth wired shut for six weeks.
2. When I was younger, my cat had her mouth wired shut.
3. When I was younger, I had a pet hamster.
4. When I was younger, I had three imaginary boyfriends.

Can you guess the lie????

This post was written as part of NHBM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

Dear 18 Year Old Me

Dear 18 year old me,

Trust me when I say that the most important relationship in your life is your relationship with Christ. He is the Only One Who will never leave you or betray you. He adores you, and loves you with an everlasting love. Give Him your heart to have and to hold from this day forward.

Right now, you think when you graduate you will begin a career that you will continue until retirement. WRONG! “Your ways are not my ways,” declared the Lord. Believe it or not, His ways are much better than yours anyway. Following Christ will take you on adventures you could never have imagined in your wildest dreams. You will soar like an eagle, but you will also have times when crawling seems to exhaust all of your energy. Just remember that in those times, He is strengthening you much like the caterpillar must draw strength in order to fly.

Life will throw you some curveballs, and there will be times when they smack you straight in the face. While the bruising is painful, it will not last forever. Keep going. Keep trusting. Keep living!

Love you, (wink, wink)

Your older and wiser self!

This post was written as part of NHBM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

The Nat Cave starring Natalie Flake

Day 2 - My TV Show. Your blog is being turned into a TV show.

If The Nat Cave were turned into a TV show, it would air on National Geographic. This reality show would feature me travelling around the world, interviewing locals about their lives. I’d try document on film the stories of the less fortunate, the abused, and the neglected. My goal is to help people to learn to walk out of darkness into the light of truth.

I suppose forgiveness would be a theme on the show. All of us have hurts. I had to learn to forgive my husband for the hurts caused by his bipolar disorder and for abandoning me when he completed suicide. Others need to forgive fathers who were never present, or friends who betrayed them. Bitterness can run deep and carries with it all types of negative health risks. On the other hand, researchers have learned that individuals who had forgiven a specific offender had lower levels of blood pressure, heart rate, and rate pressure product (Lawler, et al., 2003). This show would document stories of people who have experienced the freedom of forgiveness.

I’d show the beauty of creation in contrast to the horrific capacity of men to do evil in places such as Rwanda. I’d air several episodes on the genocide in Rwanda and how the people are finding healing from PTSD, and I’d want to tell the world their stories of reconciliation and forgiveness.

A television show of my life would not be complete unless it shared my story of ultimate healing and forgiveness which came from Jesus Christ. Through Christ I have found forgiveness of my sins, past, present, and future and healing in my soul. I have experienced reconciliation with the God of the universe. My life verse is Galatians 2:20 which states that “I am crucified with Christ so that I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” I would hope that others see me learning to die to my own desires and to live for Christ’s plans for my life. It is in this that I find true freedom and peace.

This post was written as part of NHBM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J


Lawler, K., Younger, J. Piferi, R., Billington, E., Jobe, R., Edmonson, K., & Jones,W. (2003). A Change of Heart: Cardiovascular Correlates of Forgiveness in Response to Interpersonal Conflict. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 26.

ABC or OCD cont...

In my last post, I told you that my crazy friends drug me around Virginia in search of an alphabetically correct cemetery. After searching for hours, one of my friends decided to call the police and ask for directions. Supposedly, this cemetery was next to Antioch Baptist Church.

My friend (who has asked to remain anonymous – I wonder why???), called the police station and very excitedly asked them if they knew where the A-B-C cemetery was next to Antioch Baptist Church. She was talking way too fast and the officer couldn’t understand her, and asked her to repeat her question. She said, “I’m looking for the A-B-C cemetery. You know, (and she began singing) A-B-C-D-E-F-G.” I was cracking up in the backseat when her phone suddenly lost signal. She sang to the police officer and then hung up on him. Surely he thought she was pranking him!

Once we got signal again, she called back and got a different officer. He asked her if she was the ABC lady? He told her that he only had one Antioch Baptist Church on file and gave us the address. It is like 11:00 PM now and we go looking for this church. We are just sure the cops are going to be there waiting for us to see who these crazy chicks are traipsing around late at night in search of a cemetery.

Alas, we found the church and sadly – no cemetery! We gave up for the night, only to renew our search the next morning. Armed with a new address via the internet, we take off for another day of adventure. We drove for hours on country, back roads (the views were breathtaking and made the trip worthwhile). We came upon an Apple Orchard and stopped to ask for directions. They told us how to get to the church (a different Antioch than the one the police sent us to). We found the church, but there was no cemetery. The lady at the Apple Orchard told us to cut through the woods across from the church.

We searched those woods forever and found lots of family plots and even found one cemetery, but it wasn’t in alphabetical order. We returned to the Apple Orchard 3 times for directions, but we never found it. I’m beginning to wonder if the whole thing was a hoax and the townspeople are laughing at us. I keep waiting for the cameramen to jump out and say I’ve been punked, but that never happens.

After two days of searching, trespassing on private property, finding what looked like a meth lab, and singing to the police we decided it was time to end our search. Because I hate to be defeated, I will admit that I will most likely go back one more time in search of this elusive cemetery. If anyone out there knows if this is legit or not, I’d really like to know. The locals say they’ve never been but have given directions to many tourists who have seen it…Could it be A-B-C because of Antioch Baptist Church? We may never know, but the more I think about it, I think we were sent on a snipe hunt!

ABC or OCD?

Recently I spent a week in Lynchburg, VA with some of my favorite people! One of these “faves” found a website that shared strange and unknown facts about Lynchburg, VA. My dear friends thought it would be fabulous to take me on a mystery adventure. Feeling bold and daring, I took them up on the surprise adventure. Well we drove around for a long time, the GPS guiding us only to end up in a friendly neighborhood where my friends were convinced was not the right place.

So, we set out to find the right location. They stopped one man walking down the street and showed him a paper and said, “Do you know where this place is? Don’t say what it is out loud because our friend doesn’t know where we are going…” The man looked at them quizzically and said, “Never heard of it, but I’m sure it’s around here someplace.” What? He’s never heard of it, but he’s SURE it’s around here someplace. Where in the world were they taking me?

Knowing my friend like I do, I said, “All I know is you’d better not be taking me to a cemetery. If I ride around all night with you trying to find a cemetery, I’ll be upset.” She just assured me we were going to have fun.

Next we went to a convenient store where my friend asked several old timers there about this mystery location. They’d heard of it, but couldn’t agree where it was. Hmmm, we were getting nowhere.

At last, my friend had a novel idea. I’ll call the police! They should know where this place is. Now she had a dilemma. She couldn’t call the police and ask them about this place without me overhearing it. She discussed it with her “partner in crime” and they decided to let me in on the secret.

Ok, so I’m trying to decide whether or not to tell you now or make you wait like I had to…

Alright, I’ll be nice and tell you. They were looking for the A-B-C cemetery. (I knew it! I just knew she’d drag me to a cemetery J)

Apparently, there was a private cemetery outside of Lynchburg and its caretaker had OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). He had to make sure all the graves were in alphabetical order. Each time someone new died, he would dig up the old graves and reorganize them in order. I know this sounds crazy and at first I thought this was crazy. This couldn’t be legal! The word on the net is that he had a disclaimer in the paperwork when you got a plot there agreeing to this arrangement.

As the man was nearing the end of his life, he realized that there was no one around to make sure the graves were in order after he died. He was too old and didn’t have enough time or energy to re-bury everyone himself. So he did what any logical man would do – he changed his name to Zuckerman. No kidding!

Ok, believe it or not, this is just the beginning of the story. I’ll save the rest for my next post. Our adventure was a wild one and not one I’ll easily forget. Stay tuned for more on the A-B-C cemetery.