My Prayer for My Family in 2017

I asked the Lord to show me a verse to pray over my family for 2017 and I want to share it with you. I believe He led me to Isaiah 26:3 which says,

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Father,
I pray that you would help us to keep our minds set on you; remove any impure thoughts that prevent us from seeing and hearing you. Help us to trust in you no matter the circumstances. Give us the peace that surpasses understanding as we seek to know you more this year than we have in the past. May our home be a place of peace and may all who enter experience the peace that comes from knowing you. As we strive to know you more, may others be drawn to you through your work in our lives to transform us into your image. 
In Jesus' name, Amen.

Is there a passage God is calling you to pray over your life or your family this year? If so, I'd love for you to share it with me so I can pray for your family as well.

5 Ways to Deal with Family Conflict during the Holidays

The holidays bring families together; this can be a joyous time of celebration OR it can be a time of intense conflict and stress. Over the years, I've experienced both the magic of Christmas through the eyes of a child, and the horror of unfiltered, angry words instigating heart-wrenching pain.

If Christmas brings joy and peace in your home, give glory to God and thank Him for this gift! If the holiday season brings out the worst in you, or in those around you, here are some tips to help you cope during the holiday season.

1.  The Bible calls us to pray for those who persecute us. Pray for the "black sheep" in the family. Pray for those who have hurt you in the past. Ask God to help you to forgive them. Love keeps no record of wrongs.

2.  Take time outs. Be sure to schedule breaks where you can get away by yourself and refuel. Do this before things escalate out of control.

3.  Pause before you speak and think about the potential consequences of your words. The Bible likens the tongue to a match that starts great fires...guard your tongue.

4.  Read the Christmas story in Luke 2. Jesus humbled himself and left his throne in heaven to live in a world that would hate him, humiliate him, and ultimately kill him...and He knew this before He came. Why did he come then? Love. He loves the unloveable. He loves us in spite of ourselves. We can follow his example and extend love and grace to those who are difficult to lvoe.

5.  Practice gratitude. When you are spending extensive time with your family, look for reasons to be thankful. Many are alone during the holidays; if you are with family, be thankful you are not alone. Many are grieving the loss of loved ones; be thankful for the people in your life today. Many are hungry and in need of shelter. Be intentional about practicing thankfulness.

When we do these things, our circumstances may not change, but our attitudes may. It is amazing how a change in attitude can become contagious. 

Reducing Back to School Anxiety

The first day of school can be stressful for everyone -- students, parents, teachers, and administrators. However, the anxiety students experience is unique. In an attempt to "fit in" they worry about who will and won't be in their classes, who they will sit with at lunch, and what to wear (after all they want to look good without drawing too much attention to themselves). How can parents help reduce this anxiety?

For starters, it is important to tell your child repeatedly how much you love her, and affirm her in the days leading up to the big day. Pick out clothes and shoes the night before and have the backpack packed and sitting by the door so you aren't rushing the first morning. Try to remain calm and supportive on the way to school the first day. Use humor to minimize anxiety. Consider letting your child choose what to eat for breakfast that morning or what songs to listen to on the way to school. Make the day special by showing your child how special he is to you!

Don't forget to talk with your child. Ask them what they are feeling? Normalize their nervousness. Give them tools to deal with their anxiety -- deep breathing, prayer, art, and music can all help regulate anxious feelings.

Lastly -- relax and enjoy the process. Before you know it, your child will graduate and you will miss these special days.

What do you do to help with the first day of school anxiety? Feel free to comment below and share with others...

This is your brain "In Love"

Far too often, I hear people talk about falling in love as if love is similar to tripping and falling into a pit. If you can fall into love then you can fall out of love. This "falling" most people talk about is based on feelings. When a couple first "falls" for each other, the brain releases dopamine which is a feel-good hormone. Your brain continues to produce this pleasure-inducing chemical each time you think about your new "love." As the relationship develops, the brain releases adrenalin, epinephrine and norepinephrine which fuel the infatuation and obsession.

The problem is that many people equate this pleasure sensation with love. The body can only sustain high doses of the euphoric brain chemicals for so long. With time, the release of pleasure-inducing chemicals decrease and many people then believe that they have "fallen out of love."  Then the cycle starts over...boy looks for girl to make him feel butterflies and excitement only to find that in time, the feelings fade.

Equating love with the way you feel is dangerous. If parents based loving their children on the times when they felt unadulterated bliss from their kids, there would be many loveless days in the family. First Corinthians 13 tells us love never fails.

I believe one of the reasons so many relationships fail today is because of the shallow view of love. First Corinthians gives a definition of love that requires sacrifice, commitment, and forgiveness. Love is a verb; it is a choice. We love because we choose to love, not because someone else makes us feel good or makes us happy. I hate the quote, "You complete me," in many Hollywood movies (as if we are somehow incomplete until we meet the one our soul loves -- hogwash). Instead, I love the lyrics to the more recent song by Casting Crowns "Maybe we were meant to be broken together."

There is no perfect Mr. or Mrs. Right out there. There are no perfect people (apart from Christ). Love keeps no record of wrongs, always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.

May we love with a biblical love!

Special Time with your Children -- Do you accept the challenge?

Several years ago, I took a course where I not only learned a great deal about doing therapy, but also gained a few pearls related to being a mom. One of those "pearls" relates to special time. So often, we get so busy that we give our children our leftovers.  What would happen if we would schedule 30 minutes a week when we give our kids our undivided attention and let them choose how to spend the time.

I'm not talking about going on trips or spending money on our kids, but making time in our daily life to be intentional to listen to them, really listen -- not to give advice but to hear their hearts. What if we played a video game with them, watched a silly show while snuggling on the couch, playing a board game or just talk. If you have multiple kids, make sure to give each child their own "special time." If it isn't possible to do this for each child each week, focus on one child per week or give each child 15 minutes.  Just be sure each child gets their time with you.

Personally, I am inclined to doing an unplugged version of this where we turn off all forms of technology including our phones for 30 minutes and spend real, pure quality time together at least once a week.

Will you commit to do this for the month of February? Will you give your children 2 hours of your undivided attention (30 minutes a week) for a month? Comment below and let me know if you accept the challenge. I am eager to hear how you spend the time and the effects from being intentional about showing our kids we care.

What I Learned from Maggots

Last month, Jeff and I went to put the leash on the dog so that we could go for a walk. As we bent to attach the leash to her collar, we saw maggots – thousands of maggots (OK, it was probably hundreds but it was A LOT) – coming out of a knot on her back. I ran inside for rubber gloves and shampoo. Donning the gloves, I turned on the water and fought the nausea as I watched Jeff squeeze the knot and clean out the maggots from Sandy’s back (Note, I wore the gloves holding the leash, while Jeff did the dirty work barehanded).

OK, now that you are thoroughly disgusted I’ll tell you what I learned from this. If a fly lays an egg on an open wound, within an hour, hundreds of maggots hatch and attack. All of this started with one stinkin’ fly!

As I have tried to forget the nasty image burned into my memory that night, God spoke to my spirit. The scripture teaches that out of the mouth the heart speaks. How many times have I let a root of bitterness, jealousy, or anger – one thought – consume me? In time, I began to ruminate on my perceived injustice and before long, I lash out. The words that come out of mouth in that instant are like maggots. They are nasty and hurtful.

As we bathed Sandy, we noticed sticky black grime all over her. We later learned that this was “maggot poop.” In the same way, my stinging words leave behind a stink that lingers long after the words are spoken.

Our dog had to have surgery to clean the wound and medicine to kill any remaining critters. The Bible pierces our hearts as a two edged sword and in doing so, it purifies us from unrighteousness. If I want to rid my heart of “maggot-likeness,” I need to stay in the Word and do regular heart checks where I confess my sins to God. I need others to hold me accountable and to help me deal with the ugliness.

God, create in me a pure heart and renew a right spirit within me!

One Proud Mama...

Going to Africa with my family was a dream come true. I was a little concerned that Jorjanne would get irritable and that this might infect the team. Before we left I told her, "You will be tired. You will be hot, and you will be hungry...but you will NOT complain!!!!" I am so proud to say that I never heard her complain once throughout the entire trip. God used her to share his love with others and He used this trip to change her. I could write and share more, but I think she said it best in this video presentation that was shared in our church.

Elephants, Leopards, Killer Bees, and the Gay Marriage Debate

Horrified, I ran for my life. Fear gripped me as I listened to my daughter in the distance ahead of me screaming and crying in terror. How did this happen? This was like a scene in a bad movie, and yet it was inescapable.

Just moments before, we were laughing and chatting about our latest find. We were on safari in the Masaii Mara, admiring God’s handiwork. We had up close visits with elephants, watched hyenas scoping out the land, and even saw a few wildebeests in the distance. We were on the hunt for the elusive leopard. Our eyes peered into the trees searching for any signs of movement, when out of nowhere, we were attacked.

At first it was just a couple of bees flying in our open topped matatu. It seemed like in an instant, we were surrounded by swarming bees. They began stinging me as I tried desperately to kill them. In the seat in front of me, Jeff was swatting at them with his hat and stomping them with his feet. I could hear our friends and our daughter screaming for the driver, “Go!” And yet, we remained. By now the stings on my face were continuous; the pain was excruciating. The worst part was I didn’t see an end to the throngs of bees attacking us.

As the number of bees grew, Jeff began yelling for someone to open the door. He knew that if we remained in the van, the results could be fatal. Yet leaving the van was prohibited – there were wild animals outside and we were in leopard country. As he continued to holler for someone to open the door,  Jorjanne freed us and jumped out. Once we were out of the van, the situation began to make sense. Our van was stuck with one tire off of the ground. As the driver pushed the gas pedal, exhaust had flooded straight into the bee’s hive.

We began running…the bees followed. Charles, our driver, screamed, “Don’t run far; there are wild animals that will attack.” He handed me a Masaii blanket and told me to wave it in the air to scare away any animals. With one hand I swatted at the bees and with the other I frantically waved the blanket in the air. We were all screaming as we ran past the other van with our friends looking at us with horrified expressions. They could not help us. If they opened the doors, they too, would be attacked.

We continued to run when another van came to our rescue. At first they thought we were jumping up in down in celebration. They wondered if someone had gotten engaged. When they saw me waving the blanket, they realized something was terribly wrong. There van was enclosed (no open top) and they began yelling for us to get into their van. As we entered, so did a few bees. Killing the bees that entered, they began to assess the situation. One of my friends looked at me and said, “Oh my gosh! You have stingers all in your face.” I began to weep. One by one, my friend pulled at the stingers. A stranger in the new van offered us all antihistamines – a gift the nurse later said was timely and saved us from further complications.  At last we were safe.

I am struck by the devotion of the bees to protect the hive at all costs. We later learned that we had been attacked by African killer bees. They are called this not because their sting is more poisonous but because of the vast number of bees that join forces to attack. Once they sting, they will die. They literally sacrificed their own lives for the sake of the hive.

As I’ve reflected on what happened, I’ve looked for life lessons. What take away would God have me to learn from this experience? As Christians, we know who the real enemy is. Are willing to work together, and do whatever it takes to protect the Church from his attacks?

Since the SCOTUS decision on gay marriage, I have been brokenhearted at the response of Christians on social media. Supporters on both sides have attacked those with opposing views like much like the killer bees. One person makes a comment and a hundred more counter, kicking the bee hive.

The words thrown back and forth between the groups are causing division within the Church. Regardless of a person’s stance on gay marriage, the person is someone with dignity that deserves to be treated with respect. I’ve read posts where people in support of gay marriage call those who are not uneducated bigots, and I’ve read people against gay marriage tell supporters that they are going to hell for their beliefs. Arguing an issue is one thing, but casting stones at people is another. When we think we can belittle others because they see things differently than we do, we show disrespect.

My point is that we do our part to stop attacking other Christians who view this issue differently. Will we do our part to uphold the sanctity of the Church and come together and pray for our nation during this time of division? If we don’t, people will continue to be stung, and the results could be disastrous.

*Feel free to comment on this post, but please exercise restraint from attacking people on either side of the debate.

Hopes for 2015

I watched as the sun slowly disappeared behind the acacia tree. As I stood peering over the tall grass, fighting to keep my skirt from blowing up and my hair from flying in my face, I knew that I would never be the same.

When I first started going to Kenya with my church, there were no evangelical churches among the Kuria tribe. Over the years, the gospel has spread not only among the Kuria in Kenya, but also in Tanzania. The zeal of the first generation church there is refreshing.

Seven years ago, I went to Africa thinking that it would be a neat experience. Little did I know that a continent so vast and a people so different from myself would take root as a seed in my heart. Over the many years as I’ve returned, that seed has blossomed into a love and passion that I cannot contain. I longed for the day that I could share this vision God had birthed in my heart with my family…for the day that they too, would be gripped by the beauty of a people who seek to know God and to make him known.

After much prayer, we believe that this summer my dreams of going to Africa with my family could become a reality. We have “put our yes” on the table, and Jeff, Jorjanne, and I all three are planning to go and serve the Lord side by side in both Kenya and Tanzania. This is a God-sized task. While we have willing hearts to go, the costs are high. It will cost approximately $12,000 for the three of us to go.

We plan to host yard sales, sell t-shirts, and do other odd jobs to try and raise our support. We ask you to join us in prayer as we step out in faith and trust the Lord to meet the needs for our trip. My heart is giddy at thoughts of how God will use this trip in our family. He has already radically transformed my thinking and my priorities as a result of past trips, and to think that Jorjanne will have the opportunity to go and learn at such a young age is so stinkin’ cool!

I have taught Bible studies myriads of times, but only in Africa have I taught for hours and hours and had the ladies beg for more from God’s Word. They walk for hours just to come and hear the Word proclaimed. They have a hunger and thirst for righteousness that I’d only read about. Teaching the Bible to African women has been both a privilege and a blessing.

My New Year’s resolution is to know God more and to make him known. I want to hunger for His Word like the women in Africa. When I think of 2015, I am excited about the opportunities for our family to grow closer to Christ and to each other. While I also hope for the traditional things (to eat healthier and to exercise more), I pray that this year our family will long for Christ as the deer pants for the water. We pray that God will use us to point others to the True Joy Giver this year.

Happy New Year!