May is Mental Health Month -- what will you do to improve your mental health?

Putting the groceries in the backseat, I climbed into the car and left the parking lot. As I inched toward the road I heard a soft hissing sound that quickly escalated into a loud pop followed by a louder hiss. Oh no! The soda I put in the back seat had just exploded!

May is Mental Health Month. If we want to be mentally healthy, we need to get regular mental health check-ups much like we get annual physicals. When we fail to do so, we tend to suppress our feelings and we later explode over the little things, much like the 2-liter coke did in my car today.

How do we get a mental health check up? There are several ways of doing this:
1.  Meet with a mentor and discuss your strengths and growth areas as an individual.
2.  See a therapist or other mental health professional to process hurts you may have experienced throughout the year.
3.  Talk to a pastor about ways to improve your spiritual health and thus improve your mental health.
4.  Read a book about an area in which you'd like to grow healthier emotionally.
5.  Laugh. This is by far my favorite one. Watch a funny movie. Go to a comedy club. Hang out with friends. Do something that brings you joy. Relax and LAUGH.

What are you willing to do this month to improve your mental health?

Depression and Suicide Risk

Barbara was relieved when her son, John, told her he was going out to grab some pizza with the guys. John had been struggling with depression off and on for the past several years. His most recent episode had lasted about three months. Barbara had been worried about John. He had no motivation to do his school work and often called in sick to work. He had been spending more time in his room, and did not even want to talk on his phone with friends.

Six weeks ago, Barbara convinced John to see his family doctor about the depression. He was prescribed an antidepressant and encouraged to exercise daily. Yesterday, John surprised his mom by giving her flowers and thanking her for her support over the past several months. She was ecstatic when he told her he wanted to go out for the night with friends. Things were finally looking up.

Just as Barbara prepared for bed, there was a knock on the door. Opening it, she was confused – why was there a police officer at her door? 

“Oh no! No! No! No!”

Barbara’s son John had driven his car off a cliff killing himself.

Unfortunately, while the details may differ, the suicides do not. Individuals with depression are at greater risk for suicide attempts immediately following a depressive episode. When a person is depressed, he may ruminate on all the reasons and ways to die, but he has no energy to do anything. As the depression lifts, these self-deprecating thoughts often remain and now the person has the energy to put into action the plan he has been construing for some time.

Don’t think because the depression is starting to lift that the risk for suicide has passed. Continue to watch for warning signs and don’t be afraid to ask the difficult questions --- Are you planning to hurt yourself? Have you thought about killing yourself? Have you thought about how you would do it? Do you have a plan?

If the answer is yes, seek help immediately. Call 911.  If you are suicidal, consider calling the crisis hotline number below.

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

1 in 4 people

Did you know  research suggests that 25% of the population will seek medical help for mental illness in their lifetime?  That is a quarter of the population.  Think about your closest friends; if this is true, 1 in 4 will experience mental illness at some point in life.

Why then, so we still suffer in silence?  Why are we afraid to ask others to pray for us because we are depressed or anxious?  The short answer:  stigma.  Sadly, people don't understand mental illness, and we tend to shy away from things we don't understand.

I can remember when just saying the words cancer or AIDS was taboo.  People would almost whisper the words and cancer was known as the Big C. With education, people have learned more about these illnesses, and much of the stigma has been erased.  Athletes even openly discuss their HIV status on television today.

We are still a long way in the battle to eradicate stigma associated with mental illness.  I challenge you to take time to learn about mental illness.  Don't be afraid of people with a mental illness; after all, this is 1/4 of the population.  Mental illness is a part of a person's life. It does not define his life.

If you know someone with a mental illness, find out how you can support and encourage them.  Many long for someone they can share with about their struggles.  Do your part to stop stigma!

Helping Your Bipolar Loved One

This is going to sound utterly selfish, but the number one thing you can do to help someone you care about who has bipolar disorder is to make sure that you are healthy yourself. Loving someone with bipolar often comes with extreme highs and lows, and their roller coaster of emotions often carry you along for the ride whether you want to go or not. You love them and want to do everything you can to help; sometimes to the point that you neglect yourself.

There was a time when Michael’s mood swings were so severe that nothing was stable in our lives. I felt like I was living in a minefield, and at any moment, life could explode. In a moment of desperation, I remember thinking that if something didn’t change, I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I knew our daughter needed at least one sane parent, so I decided to move out of our home until I could get a grip on my own emotional and mental health.

Leaving was one of the most difficult things at the time; Michael thought that I was leaving him permanently and had many of our friends and family calling to convince me to come home (they were unaware of his disorder). Being apart was difficult in many ways, but being in a stable environment gave me the space to gain some perspective. When I finally did return home, I was in a much better place emotionally to support him than I was when I left.

Was I selfish to leave? Yes and no. The decision to leave for a brief period was what was best for our family. The one thing I know is that when I took care of my own mental health, I was a much better wife and mother. I’m not saying that you need to take this to the extreme and that it is all about you and making yourself happy, but I am suggesting that you take care of yourself.

When Someone You Love is Manic

                                               
While depression is often the worst part of bipolar disorder for the sufferer, the mania is often the most damaging to his relationships. One twitter follower described the mania she experiences as feeling unhinged with overwhelming thoughts and ideas. The racing thoughts often lead to grandiose and unrealistic beliefs.

The National Institute of Mental Health describes mania as  

·         A long period of feeling "high," or an overly happy or outgoing mood

·         Extremely irritable mood, agitation, feeling "jumpy" or "wired."

·         Talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another, having racing thoughts

·         Being easily distracted

·         Increasing goal-directed activities, such as taking on new projects

·         Being restless

·         Sleeping little

·         Having an unrealistic belief in one's abilities

·         Behaving impulsively and taking part in a lot of pleasurable,
high-risk behaviors, such as spending sprees, impulsive sex, and impulsive business investments.

Acquaintances might view the manic person as talkative, extremely happy, and fun to be around. The people closest to the person with mania however deal with the consequences of the person’s irritability and reckless choices.

I recently spoke to a mom whose son is currently having a manic episode. She is frustrated because her son won’t listen to her. Because mania leads to unrealistic beliefs and racing thoughts, you can’t rationalize with someone in a manic state because they are irrational. Using the broken record technique may be helpful. Speak in short sentences and say them repeatedly until your loved one comprehends what you are communicating.

Dealing with someone who is manic takes incredible patience and love. You may need to postpone any serious discussions until the person comes down from the high. When your loved one is in a healthy place, ask her how she wants you to respond to her when they are manic. Ask her what helps and what hurts.

Help! Someone I Love Has Bipolar Disorder: Part I

When someone you love has bipolar disorder, it influences your life as well. I’ve had several people ask me to write about how loved ones can cope with their loved ones excessive mood swings. First let me say that there is no easy answer. Each individual and each situation is unique, but I will share some things I’ve learned along the way. This post is the first in a series that I will write on the subject.

It is important to remember that your loved one has bipolar disorder, but this does not define her. Every person is complex and uniquely gifted; don’t let the disease cloud your overall perception of your loved one’s identity. People with the disorder often feel stigmatized, and are paranoid that others will treat them differently if they know about the diagnosis. Your loved one needs to know that you care and that you are there to offer support as she seeks treatment.

Medications are almost always necessary in managing the mood swings associated with the disorder. Medication compliance is often one of the most difficult hurdles to recovery. It is important to understand that medications are meant to control the illness so that the person can be himself. Please do not make jokes about psychiatric medications as this only adds to the stigma.

In the coming posts, I will address ways to cope with your loved one’s depression, his mania, medication, codependency, and self-care. If there are other topics you would like for me to address, please let me know.

Manic May

(Picture from nami.org)

May is National Mental Illness month, and I've been receiving lots of emails about the importance of raising awareness this month. I recently watched Silver Lining Playbook (lots of language and crude scenes, I'm not endorsing the movie), and was impressed by the way that they demonstrated someone with bipolar mania. When someone with bipolar disorder is manic, they have excessive energy and often experience very little sleep. In the movie, the man stays up all night and finds nothing wrong with waking up his parents at 3:00 AM to tell them about a book he read. Sound crazy? It's actually pretty normal behavior for someone who is manic.

I can remember Michael waking me up around 3:00 AM to tell me that the day was passing me by, and that I was lazy and needed to get up. He'd crank up the music and turn on all the lights, making it virtually impossible to get sleep. Combine one manic man with a sleep deprived wife and it's not a pretty picture.

Another symptom of mania is grandiose thinking. Michael was convinced that God had told him that we were to buy a million dollar home (despite the fact we were living on a missionary's budget). He insisted that I just didn't have enough faith, but that God would provide the money so that he could buy this house. He even visited its owners and convinced them that he was working on getting the money.

Hyperactivity, irritability, spending sprees, and sometimes psychosis can all accompany bipolar mania. To the outside world, someone who is manic may appear to be the life of the party -- full of energy and creativity. To the people closest to them, the mania breeds chaos and destroys relationships.

The good news is that bipolar disorder can be treated. Many people fail to see a psychiatrist due to fear or stigma, but with the proper balance of medications and counseling, many people who suffer from bipolar disorder go on to live normal, healthy lives. If you or someone you love struggles with this, please, please seek help. The following website is a great resource on bipolar disorder:  http://www.dbsalliance.org