Wives, Respect your Husbands...

Several years ago, a friend started a ministry to girls who were engaged to help prepare them for marriage.  The engaged girl is encouraged to select three to five married women they trust and respect to join her for an evening of fun, food, and marital advice.  Over the years, I’ve contemplated what I wish I had known before I got married and what I can say to young brides-to-be.  This is what I have decided.

We hear a lot about unconditional love.  The Bible commands husbands to love their wives as their own body and as Christ loves the church.  This love is not dependent on the person’s actions.  It is sacrificial and enduring.

However, when it comes to wives roles, there seems to be some confusion.  The Bible commands wives to respect their husbands.  Interestingly, research suggests that a man’s number one need from his wife is to be respected.  Somewhere along the way, we started believing the lie that respect has to be earned.  Says who?

The Bible does not say wives, respect your husbands when they deserve it.  It is an unconditional statement.  We are to respect our husbands, period.  This does not mean that we agree with every decision they make, nor that they always act with integrity.  It does mean that we respect them even when it is difficult.

Think about it.  We are commanded to respect authority.  We may not always agree with the president’s policies, but we respect him because of his office.  Respect is due him because of who he is, not for what he does.  In the same way, we are to respect our husbands.

So ladies, the next time you are disgusted with something your husband does, respect him anyway.  You don’t have to condone bad behavior, but you can still treat him with dignity and respect. 

What does it look like for wives to respect their husbands?  I’d love to hear your feedback for a future post, illustrating how this is practically accomplished.

The cost of freedom...

I apologize for the brief hiatus; it wasn't intentional.  I'm working on my doctorate, and I have had so many papers to write and books to read that I haven't had time to write.  I did want to take a minute today to encourage you to pray for people in the military around the world.

The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) released a disturbing statistic.  More soldiers have died from suicide than in battle in Afghanistan.  This tells me that the horrors our servicemen and women are experiencing overseas come home with them.  Many suffer from PTSD or have a difficult time reintegrating into society.  Family problems, economic problems, and access to healthcare are all added stressors for many who have served for our freedom.

While we grill out and enjoy fireworks, a soldier is contemplating whether or not to live.  This is not OK.  I have asked a friend who works with veterans to write a guest post in the coming weeks, but for now I am calling you to pray for our nation. Pray for our leaders who determine where our troops will go.  Pray for our troops at home and abroad.  Freedom is costly -- may we be willing to do our part in prayer.