Wives, Respect your Husbands...

Several years ago, a friend started a ministry to girls who were engaged to help prepare them for marriage.  The engaged girl is encouraged to select three to five married women they trust and respect to join her for an evening of fun, food, and marital advice.  Over the years, I’ve contemplated what I wish I had known before I got married and what I can say to young brides-to-be.  This is what I have decided.

We hear a lot about unconditional love.  The Bible commands husbands to love their wives as their own body and as Christ loves the church.  This love is not dependent on the person’s actions.  It is sacrificial and enduring.

However, when it comes to wives roles, there seems to be some confusion.  The Bible commands wives to respect their husbands.  Interestingly, research suggests that a man’s number one need from his wife is to be respected.  Somewhere along the way, we started believing the lie that respect has to be earned.  Says who?

The Bible does not say wives, respect your husbands when they deserve it.  It is an unconditional statement.  We are to respect our husbands, period.  This does not mean that we agree with every decision they make, nor that they always act with integrity.  It does mean that we respect them even when it is difficult.

Think about it.  We are commanded to respect authority.  We may not always agree with the president’s policies, but we respect him because of his office.  Respect is due him because of who he is, not for what he does.  In the same way, we are to respect our husbands.

So ladies, the next time you are disgusted with something your husband does, respect him anyway.  You don’t have to condone bad behavior, but you can still treat him with dignity and respect. 

What does it look like for wives to respect their husbands?  I’d love to hear your feedback for a future post, illustrating how this is practically accomplished.

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Tears to Joy: Wives, Respect your Husbands...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Wives, Respect your Husbands...

Several years ago, a friend started a ministry to girls who were engaged to help prepare them for marriage.  The engaged girl is encouraged to select three to five married women they trust and respect to join her for an evening of fun, food, and marital advice.  Over the years, I’ve contemplated what I wish I had known before I got married and what I can say to young brides-to-be.  This is what I have decided.

We hear a lot about unconditional love.  The Bible commands husbands to love their wives as their own body and as Christ loves the church.  This love is not dependent on the person’s actions.  It is sacrificial and enduring.

However, when it comes to wives roles, there seems to be some confusion.  The Bible commands wives to respect their husbands.  Interestingly, research suggests that a man’s number one need from his wife is to be respected.  Somewhere along the way, we started believing the lie that respect has to be earned.  Says who?

The Bible does not say wives, respect your husbands when they deserve it.  It is an unconditional statement.  We are to respect our husbands, period.  This does not mean that we agree with every decision they make, nor that they always act with integrity.  It does mean that we respect them even when it is difficult.

Think about it.  We are commanded to respect authority.  We may not always agree with the president’s policies, but we respect him because of his office.  Respect is due him because of who he is, not for what he does.  In the same way, we are to respect our husbands.

So ladies, the next time you are disgusted with something your husband does, respect him anyway.  You don’t have to condone bad behavior, but you can still treat him with dignity and respect. 

What does it look like for wives to respect their husbands?  I’d love to hear your feedback for a future post, illustrating how this is practically accomplished.

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