Survivors of Suicide

Almost every month, I am faced with the reality of suicide as I receive letters and phone calls from people all across the nation who have lost someone they love. Each time my heart aches with the person (many of whom I’ve never met), because I know the path before them is one of gut-wrenching pain. I also know that God is able to bring healing, but only as we face the pain. There’s no shortcut on the road to healing.

Last year, I began working with an organization called SOS (Survivors of Suicide). There are SOS Support Groups all over the nation. These groups are designed for adults who have lost someone to suicide to meet with other survivors in an attempt to face their grief and find healing in a personal way. As survivors meet with each other, a mutual healing often takes place. Those who are newly bereaved often find comfort and hope from those who are further along in the grief process.

Losing someone to suicide is different than other types of loss. The grief is complicated. Not only do you face the normal stages of grief, but you may also experience guilt or shame. I remember feeling guilty and wondering what I could have done differently to save Michael. I also remember the shame. There are times I still feel the shame. Each time someone asks how my husband died, I can feel the shame rising within me, and I have to remind myself to hold my head high. Michael’s death did not define who he was. He was an amazing man, and I need not feel ashamed.

If you or someone you care about has lost someone to suicide, encourage them to visit a SOS Support Group. I encourage people to try it at least three times. If after three times it isn’t helpful, then feel free to stop coming. Sometimes it takes a while to feel safe in the group. To find out where a group is near you, go to http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com.