Men Crave Respect

I have decided to participate in a 30 Day Fast from Sugar.  Today is only the first day, and I have realized just how much sugar is in my normal diet. It’s everywhere!  In preparation for this fast, I’ve been reading about cravings and how to deal with them.  While I crave pasta and bread, other friends who are fasting miss soft drinks and chocolate.  We each have to deal with our own unique cravings.

In a similar way, men and women crave love in different ways.  Psychologists report that while women long to feel loved, men desire respect.  Studies show a man’s highest felt needs are respect and honor. On the other hand, a woman’s greatest need is to be cherished, adored, and delighted in.  God knew this when he inspired Paul to write Ephesians 5 which commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church and wives to respect their husbands. 

Wives are commanded to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33) out of love and reverence for Christ.  What does this type of respect look like?  A wife should respect and cooperate with her husband.  This help and cooperation should be done wholeheartedly and without grumbling, just as it would be given to Christ himself.  This means avoiding a critical spirit.  As a matter of fact, John Gottman describes four horsemen that are actively striving to destroy your marriage.  They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  Each of these “horsemen” gradually turn spouses against each other. I will spend the next few posts examining each of these.

This is a timely reminder for me as well, because I’ve been told to expect irritability as I experience sugar withdrawals.  Pray that I will guard my tongue in the days ahead, and that I will treat my own husband with respect even when I’m not feeling my best.